Questionable past = questionable character?

We have everything in common and there is a spark. I see this leading into a relationship. The thing is, she is the type of girl who has done keg stands and some one night stands. She parties harder than I do and has more of a vulgar language than I. I am not against drinking, but I have standards and wouldn't do one night stands. Is it right for me to judge her character off of her past? I am looking for a wholesome girl who may last in a serious relationship, she has a ton of potential for this. But her past makes her come across as kind of trashy..


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm in different about this mainly because I'm a girl with a past. But I do judge others from their past or at least factor in some things for prospective so understandable.

    At the same time the age 18-24, not saying her behavior is right or justified but it sounds like typical college behavior. Most college students have serious relationships and get married eventually. So I wouldn't rule her out completely.

    If it worries you just talk about it..

    I anything would was just say it's a phase.

    I mean when I came to college, I didn't party for a year or drink, virgin, no random make outs. By age 19 second - third month into my 2nd year. I probably has drunk myself into 2 near hospitalization experiences, made out with nearly 10 guys and almost lost my virginty to some rando. I partied religiously and it wasn't a secret it was all over my social media, that was at 19. By age 21, partying is a rare occasion. I've had a total of 3 drinks this year, I was almost completely sober for age 20 and I haven't picked up any random guys since last year. I've managed to hang onto what's left of my virginity...

    ^^^ just a phase

    Plus "she parties harder than you" ..
    Implying that you do party
    Are you really going to hold that against her...

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    • I mean, I drink but I dont really go out to house party's and shot-gun beers or do keg stands. I don't know, I am okay with it. But I dont really want to join that style of life. Though I don't mind grabbing a few drinks with her.

    • Maybe I get,
      it like you can party once a week and she could maybe go for Thursday- Saturday.
      Or she's one of those stumbles in a 5am girls and you're done way before that...

      It seems compromisable to me
      If lay it out before you commit
      If you commit and then wait to bring it up
      She'll probably take offense and think you're controlling

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe she's a more "wholesome" person now because she got some of the craziness out of her system or she felt pressured to keep up an image?

    As long as she's clean and isn't an alcoholic I don't see a problem with her past actions.

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What Guys Said 2

  • wot lies in da past let it b there basically... anyway... some people have bad pasts.. but wot it matters is present time and only ;-)

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  • If the past really matters that much to you then maybe not. People do change so while her past is questionable it i snot a reflection of who she is presently or who she will be in the future. Yes it can be worrisome, but if she has put that behind her and does not do that anymore then maybe try to forget? A questionable past does not always mean the character is completely shot. She could have done that stuff, but still have great character

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    • Yeah, this is true. I am just trying to size her up before I make a decision to commit.

    • Oh yeah it is a reasonable thing to do and I do not blame you, however if it is truly this concerning to you maybe talk with her about it. Although if she has not done this recently it is probably behind her and she will not do it any longer

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