I caught my boyfriend on Tinder! What should I do?

So basically he never really allowed me to look at his phone much but I always willingly let him take mine whenever he wants to check anything cause I trust him. Earlier I was with him and he blurted "I just got a match!" Then I said oh ok then he said "do you know what tindr is?" Which I was too distracted while taking out my wallet that I didn't realise he was on tinder and said "yeah duh I know" then I realised it later and now am really mad at him. He says he's sorry and that he didn't know that the app was for dating he thought it was a chat app to talk to other people that they 'liked'. Which I think is a load of crap but at the same time he seemed too desperate to lie. Is he? And what should I do? (I can't break up with him I love him too much) I'm crying sigh I'm worthless..

Updates:
I told him I believed him but I don't know... We've been together for a few months but we've been friends for about a year

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's highly doubtful he didn't know what tinder was and what it is used for. Since he told you about it maybe he's telling the truth but even if he had good intentions on tinder they could always lead to something worse. Either way it doesn't really matter because there's no way for you to ever know for sure so dreading about it will only hurt you. What does matter is letting him know how you feel and how much this has hurt you. If I had to guess he's on tinder because there is some emotional/physical need that he's not getting from you so he's looking other places for it. This may not be your fault but if he is uncomfortable with you in some way it's very important you find out and talk about it. Bottom line is let him know how much this hurt you, and if he has any respect for you he will stop doing things like this. I don't know enough to know if this is a toxic relationship but I know I wouldn't want to be in a relationship where I feel worthless. Best of luck to ya mate

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What Guys Said 4

  • Doesn't sound too good, I'm afraid. Most people know what are purely chat apps and what aren't.

    I gave up quite a few female friends and closed several social media accounts once my girlfriend and I started dating. In no way did I want to risk anything like you have experienced.

    It will hurt, but I think you should consider moving on with a guy you can trust 100%. This guy just doesn't seem to be trustworthy.

    Only you really know what to do.

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  • If he blurted it out like that then he probably genuinely didn't know it was for dating. No one is stupid enough to openly admit using tinder as intended right on front of their SO.

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  • Not, seriosu, he maybe want more a friend of ethernets, not in real life... but he talk to freind on the interwebs

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  • Don't tell me you don't know

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What Girls Said 5

  • I met my boyfriend on tinder. He was dating another girl at the time but he broke up with her and we started dating. Before I met him, I was using tinder as a hook up app, so I don't know whether you should believe him or not. Trust your instinct. I know my boyfriend won't cheat on me and I've watched him delete tinder, as I have as well.

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  • He is a lying... If you're not going to break up with him then don't get upset. Things like that will continue to happen through out or your relationship with him. You will regret not dumping his ass when you find him cheating.

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  • You're not worthless. I'd feel the same if my boyfriend did that. It's completely understandable to be like this. Maybe try talking to him.

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  • He's bored of you. dump him

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  • I call bullshit. The first red flag is being protective of his phone. Him being on tinder is strike 2. Give it another chance if you must, but be leary and don't settle.
    There are plenty of other people out there that don't play games.

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