What is considered disrespectful when it comes to relationships and facebook?

I have been dating this guy for almost 4 months. Everything is going well except there is one problem, he is addicted to facebook. Anytime we go out, he has to post where we are. He has exes on his friend list who often comment on his posts and pictures and vice versa and some things just seem too flirty to me, like always commenting on certain females pictures, sometimes with pictures of himself. I have talked to him to let him know how I feel about it, but he claims its just facebook its just an outlet. I feel like certain things that females post on his page he should set boundaries and let them know he is now in a relationship and what is and what isn't respectful, and he should consider how certain things could be taken by me. I understand we have exes, I don't have feelings for any exes nor am I flirty with any. An ex is an ex for a reason, but being flirty with them is not acceptable when you are in a relationship with someone. I feel as though he is keeping doors open with certain females by behaving this way on facebook. Being flirty, inside jokes with them, smiley kissy faces. He says he loves me he's not seeing anyone esle, but his actions sometimes, I don't know. Behavior should change once in a relationship. Am I right to feel like respect is not being shown, or am I reading too much into things.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm with you on this issue. When they became an ex, they should have been unfriended. I can only think of one compelling reason to keep an ex as a friend on Facebook, and that is to keep open the avenues of possibly reuniting. If you can't resolve this issue now, you need to drop him. Can you imagine being married to him and he still corresponds with exes on Facebook?

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    • Exactly my point. I mean to still comment on pictures, telling someone how sexy they are, is so disrespectful. I have one ex on my facebook page we don't talk I certainly don't flirt there are no feelings there, something is just telling me to watch out. Exactly he is keeping his options open, and if he doesn't understand how I feel, im going to have no choice but to fall back.

    • I think the handwriting is on the wall and every day you waste with him is one less day that you eventually have to share with someone more deserving. by the way, do the smart thing and delete your one ex on FB. Message him and explain why you are doing it. The only way you should see an ex is in your rear-view mirror.

    • I already let the ex know that I am seeing someone so any communication we use to have is not longer.

What Guys Said 1

  • You both have to totally different sensibilities. Lots of people are addicted to fb and think it is normal. Whereas you and I would say it is almost an obsession with them, and a massive time consumer away from the actual people in their physical/daily world. Especially their SO's. But your BF's behavior has crossed another line for you, and I don't blame you. I feel it is inappropriate, even if he doesn't get it. Further, he should be mature enough to be sensitive to your feelings and thoughts on it, rather than dismissive or indifferent. This shows a severe disconnect and respect gap between you. But you can't hang on to hopes of thinking he'll change. Very few addicts of any kind will. So you have a serious issue that you will have to confront him about. And as an addict, he will NOT like it or likely react in a constructive way. Whatever the case, you need to demand respect, or move on.

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    • You are absolutely right because he said before you want me to delete my page which is way overboard and he totally missed what I was saying. I don't feel like every detail of your life every place you go needs to be put on facebook for people you haven't seen since you were 5 to see. Some things should be sacred. He should be more sensitive to how I feel and I know he wouldn't like it if I commented on exes pictures all the time or flirted with them.

    • Yes. You are absolutely right, no one needs or even wants to read all the minutia of your day or life. And no need you tweet or fb what kind of shoes you're buying. It's all so stupid, inane, and colossal waste of time and life. I think 10-20 years from now most people will look back at the texting/fb/twitter/instagram/tinder/tumblr black hole we went down in major embarassment or horror due to the time that was lost, at the expense of so many other good, true, and wholesome things. Much like some people look back at their pictures from the 70's and 80's, cringing. And THAT was just from the CLOTHES! More or less. And yes, some things should indeed be/stay sacred. Exactly. What ever happen to privacy, and minding your own business? Why all this voyeurism? Are people's lives that empty and unexciting, that they have to look to others for entertainment, or to ridicule? One problem with your boyfriend is that he likely can't be bothered, or even knows how to put himself in your shoes.

    • Exactly I agree with everything you said. I loved dating and relationships before facebook ever came along. That's the sad part because he really is a nice guy, he just needs to disconnect from facebook a little and realize what he stands to lose.

What Girls Said 2

  • You are totally right!

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  • what kind of things does he comment on their pics? & theirs on his? it seems shady to me, I wouldn't like it either

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    • He comments very nice, sexy, looking good, and commented with pictures of himself. Like today, some female posted a throwback pic of him and her at a wedding in September, yes September what a throwback saying sexiest wedding selfie with all her friends commenting on how good they look. Now females are messy, she posted that just days after he posted we were out for my birthday. I feel like he should let them know his status, and set boundaries. I understand he has friends but at the same time, when you are in a relationship, some things are not acceptable.

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