Should I quit now? Or is it done already?

So I went out on a 2nd date with this girl. The 1st date went well and she texted me "Thanks for coffee" the same evening. We set out for date #2

She shows up and doesn't even give me a hug even though I hugged her at the end of date #1.
We enter the resturant for dinner (I wish I hadn't taken her out to eat).

She has her phone out looking down under the table. She says she is texting her cousins, as there is a cousin meetup later in the night. I found during the date she kept looking at her phone a lot.

She didn't get my jokes, at one point I just waved my hand and said forget it... Just because she stared and me and couldn't get my joke.

Later she had her hand udner her chin and I asked if she was bored or tired. She said... Both!

She also kept asking when the waitress would come over.
I also paid for dinner hoping she would at least say she is going to pay for half. I wasn't going to let her if she did, but I wanted to see if she would at least offer. She failed!

So I pay for dinner, expecting a "thank you for dinner". I get a "Should we head out now?"

I was shocked, but I thought okay maybe she will thank me outside. She just smiles outside staring at me... for a minute we stand and stare while she smiled and I must have had a frusterated look.

She did not thank me, I gave her a hug and we left in our own cars.

I got no text from her, in fact we haven't contacted each other in almost a week now.

I find I haven't gotten over her. I guess I am so pissed with how it all played out. And, I have met other much more polite women in the mean time. But, I can't stop thinking of that girl... I don't get what is wrong with me?

Is it because I had higher expectations and it all burned down so fast?
I felt like she was perfect for me... till I noticed other things or another side to her.

I kinda of feel maybe she was shy or nervous, but she says she doesn't get that way at all.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You cannot get over her because she was the one making you feel insecure. Somehow that makes you wonder how it could have been.
    I think you should be honest. Contact her and ask directly what happened. That you don't understand how it went from a great 1st date to a bad 2nd date. Explain that you saw so much potential and now you are just confused with what happened.
    From experience I tell you, it's better to ask and solve this now. Otherwise you will keep wondering.

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    • Well.. I have a feeling she deleted me from her contacts list today. Which is probably why I thought of it more today.

      I mean it's like my mind logically is telling me she is no good to me. Move on, and I did for a few days. Until today when I noticed she took me off her phone. Maybe you're right... I did feel insecure with her.. but ONLY on date #2. On Date #1 I was super confident, I lead it all and it was good. But for date #2 I over thank everything even before I met up with her that night.

      I told myself based off her short text messages that she may not be interested. So the anxiety kicked in for once.

      I don't even know how to contact her? If I send her a text she may not reply. If I call her, I don't even know where to start...

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    • See I think I might know what went wrong... sort of...

      I guess I feel like I don't want to give her an ego boost. If I contact her, she's going to know that she has me interested. And, no offence, if a woman like her can feel entitled to everything, dinner, not having to say thanks etc... Then, I do not want to be giving her an ego boost.

      In my opinion she doesn't deserve one. I know her mindset is that she is the shit... and anyone and everyone would like to kiss her ass. And, that's why I never bothered to ever message her. I don't want to give her the satisfaction in the end that she won!

      Plus, I don't want to be like the other men chasing after her like a puppy. I want to hold my ground and show her that what she did shouldn't affect me in anyway.

    • Then just ignore her and move on. Find a nice woman that deserves your attention and care. ;-)

What Girls Said 2

  • being a girl myself, if i was shy or nervous i would have texted you after the date. maybe she realized something on the first date and was just trying to be nice on the second date and give you another chance. at this point since you have realized that there are many other women who are way more polite, i'd say that its already done and you should continue to move on. she's no good!

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    • That could be... but after the 1st date we talked a lot via text till the following week for date #2. It seemed like we were fairly into each other and in constant contact. Then date #2 hits and it all goes down to shit.

      I mean one day she was crying and upset. And in a matter of 2 mins I got her to calm down, helped her and got her smiling and laughing. It was perfect... and yet it all goes down because of one date that probably didn't go the way we both wanted it too.

  • I think I remember this question before. Just get over it already.

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    • I was... or I thought so... it's so stupid too. I normally don't care and move on.

      That's why I posted this... I don't understand what is going on...

    • It's best you forget about it and move on. It doesn't seem like she appreciate any of your efforts

    • yeah that's the thing... my friends even said if she couldn't even thank you for dinner. Or bother texting you after the date, or that she actually said she was bored. That you should not even give a crap about her and move on. And, I felt like did that... till today when I noticed she deleted me off her contacts list.

      I guess it just hit a nerve...

What Guys Said 4

  • That not how shy and nervous people act!

    That was shitty and classless...

    Move on... You could find a better date anywhere!

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    • Yeah you're right. Almost every other date I had.. the girl would say thanks or just something... But, I also think it was just a bad date. Funny enough, I haven't had a bad date in a LONG time. So maybe this was long overdue...

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    • Yeah.. I guess I was trying to save something that was un-savable.

      I should've called her out... I guess for once I so over thank meeting her for date 2. That I came in a messed up vibe. I just thought so highly of her... and that part was my mistake. Otherwise, I would've come in not caring and woulda called her on her shit.

      I guess for me I take a lesson from it too. If someone dis-respects you... put them in their place!

    • 👍🏻👏🏻💯💯

  • She is done with you so you should move on. You only had two dates so it should not be too hard to move on from her. Just because the first date goes well does not mean someone is perfect for you. Paying more attention to her phone than you Meas it was over between the two of you right then and there. If she was interested in you she would have put down her phone and not have worried about later that evening and instead have given you the attention.

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    • yeah, there's that, plus on Date 1 she texted me, thanking me for coffee. After this date I heard nothing from her. In fact it's been probably over a week now and neither of us has texted or contacted each other.

      I guess the thing is I liked her drive for her career. I haven't met a woman like her that does that. On top of that all of our convo's flowed so well between date 1 and 2 via text.

      It's sad because I had moved on and have met 2 other women since then. WHo actually THANKED me for coffee or dinner, or heck.. even for holding the door for them, AND even thanking the waiters. Where as the other girl never did any of that at all.

      I guess I got too attached for once... bad sign on my part!

  • Dude she was texting some other guy, while getting dinner paid for by you. I would've left

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    • Let's just say she was doing that... Why show up to meet me? I doubt she drives 45 mins from 2 different cities to meet me for dinner... She can't be that desperate for a free dinner considering she has VERY good job.

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    • Yeah.. see that's what I told myself too.

      It's like she didn't hug me at the start of it.
      The 1st time we met it was different, as she saw me she never looked at her phone it was put aside.

      And, I did get that feeling of well if she can't respect me enough to say "thanks for dinner". Or at the very least text me it afterwards... then why should I care for her or chase after her. After all she disrespected me, and if I contact her afterwards. All it shows is she can push me around and I'll still run after her. When I looked at it that way... it was easier to move on.

      I guess some part of me feels like we started off date #2 wrong or on a bad step. It's almost like I want a do over... but I know it probably won't happen.

      I guess I just need more time to get out and let it all slowly fade out of my system. The upside is I got 2 back to back dates setup for today and tmrw. And, these 2 women seem more like the polite type that WOULD thank you for anything you do for them.

    • Best of luck to ya

  • One day she realise you feeling

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