Is it against feminism to expect chivalry?

The vast majority of women like me interpret chivlary as being polite. However, I have began questioning why I do this? I think it is because society has engrained the ideology that women should be put on a pedestal. Why is the man only expected to be polite to women? Like paying for the date. If women were expected to be polite too then shouldn't women split the bill, so we are both being polite? Why do we expect men to approach but then expect to take charge in our careers? As the days pass by I am beginning to dislike my own gender. I am trying to wrap my head around equality.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Is it against feminism to expect chivalry?
    In my opinion it is a chivalry was seemingly a code for knights who were held on a higher standard. It's amusing to me how treating gals like human beings was seemingly a higher standard for certain guys rather than basic courtesy.

    Why is the man only expected to be polite to women?
    They're not if anything chivalry suggests guys being polite to gals was special treatment rather than basic courtesy. I find society generally conditions gals to be polite to guys as gals are the nurturers, peacemakers, caregivers, etc.

    If women were expected to be polite too then shouldn't women split the bill, so we are both being polite?
    In my opinion that's not a matter of politeness but differing on who pays. Some believe both parties should pay and some believe the asker pays.

    Why do we expect men to approach but then expect to take charge in our careers?
    Who is this we? Just because gals generally do not approach doesn't mean gals expect guys to. More likely gals do not approach because they see no need to. Why approach when enough guys are approaching you.

    "I think it is because society has engrained the ideology that women should be put on a pedestal."
    Bit curious where did you get the idea that society has such an ideology when historically gals have been oppressed and seemingly regarded as inferiors/lessers and presently it's seemingly a commonplace norm to use a derogatory insult to refer to the general female population? I find if any gender has been placed on a pedestal it's been male.

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    • Why do define chivalry as politeness?

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    • okay then let me ask you this do you believe a man should pay for your first date and hold pen doors for you?

    • I don't do should/shouldn't unless it applies to laws or harming children/animals.

      A guy can pay and hold doors if he chooses to.

What Guys Said 9

  • Feminists from the 1920s got shit done. Women's voting rights, job equality, and casual sex. Those early feminists did all the work and they actually wanted things to be equal. Today's modern feminists create double standards and blame all their problems on men. In my opinion they are creating a devide between men and women that will make us all miserable.

    I no longer show that little extra bit of respect called chivalry. I treat most women like they are men. For me to be chivalrous to a women she has to first earn my respect just like another man would.

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  • I say depends on what kind of feminism. Some people consider it a demonstration of the guy's ownership of the woman, like if he's kind enough to her, the woman would let him own her. Some people are against it for the idea that there's a difference between the male and female role. Some feminists are for it because it gives the woman respect which might be lacking otherwise.

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  • I was brought up to be polite & fair to everyone , quite a while back I was actually snarled at then KICKED by a young woman... because I held the door open for her... WTF? Kimberly45... I salute you for seeing through the feminist propaganda BS , it hurts EVERYONE regardless of gender as it breeds more nastiness , resentment & yet more hatred.. there is enough shit we all have to endure in this world !!!

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  • Feminists want their cake, and it yours too. Of this statement wasn't true:
    •The bill would be evenly split on dates
    •Girls would ask guys out as often as guys ask girls out
    •Girls would propose as often as guys propose
    •Either both genders would practice chivalry, or neither

    What we have now is called "half feminism", the only way we could have FULL feminism would be if all women grew penises.

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  • Finally, someone who is starting to see the double-standard bullshit that many "feminists" advocate nowadays!

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    • Every single real feminist is against chivalry so don't worry. It's not just one person who is "starting to see it"

  • chivalry (LOL) is sth really old in my opinion... i consider it pointless and SCARY if u ask me ;-)

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  • Bless you, but don't hate your gender. Hate the bitches that man hate because no man in their right mind would date or commit to them.

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  • I just hate it if girls don't let me open doors for them

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    • but is that sexist to want to hold doors open because it is the expectation on you to be polite?

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    • You guys are over complicating this. Just be a fucking gentleman. Not very hard.

    • Saying I'm in Unicorn land is completely just stupid and ignorant on your part. Let this 16 year old break it down for you. I treat women with the highest chivalry because they are the birth of all life. They carry my child. They nurtured us with breast milk when we are toddlers. They are the source of all life! Without the women, the man is incomplete. Real men notice this and that's why us Real men value our women so highly. It is not a thing of showing off our masculinity, but it is because we are incomplete without them. But like I said only Real men notice this...😳

  • The courting process needs to be romantic. Women need to be submissive sexually and the guys need to be dominante. It is the way we are wired sexually. That won't change anytime soon.

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    • then why are women taking leadership positions in the workforce? Since they are submissive

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    • seems hypocritical that women maintain the ability to be submissive ONLY in bed but not anywhere else

    • It is the way we are wired over millenium of natural selection. Send a letter to God or Darwin to complain.

What Girls Said 5

  • "Why is the man only expected to be polite to women? Like paying for the date. If women were expected to be polite too then shouldn't women split the bill, so we are both being polite? Why do we expect men to approach but then expect to take charge in our careers?"

    Because in this new age of "equality" and progression and with the eradication of gender roles to a high extent, society still expects men to act like traditional masculine men which is difficilt when majority of women do not act as traditional feminine women. It's stupid.

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  • I don't think it is!

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  • I believe in feminism and being able to take care of myself. I don't really care about or expect chivalry.

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  • It is. Opening doors for women and all those things give the idea women can't do it by themselves and we need a man to do it for us.

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  • it isn't really about gender - everyone should be polite to everyone. If a girl holds a door for you, she's polite, if a boy holds a door for you, he's polite. If he offers to pay, it doesn't make him more manly, but it's a nice gesture and shouldn't be rejected because of feminism. just as long as you dont expect it, and be happy to pay for him too, or to split bills on other occasions!

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