Do you think he's hiding something?

Well, I "met" a guy on Tinder. We sent eachother a few messages and then talked on the phone twice for hours at a time. He did "warn" me that he may have to move away for a few months since he travels for work, he admitted thst since moving was a possibility, he should not hAve been on Tinder. I found him on Fb and stalked his page since it is set to public. His fb confirmed what he told me - that he may move until October to the other side of the United States from me. His friends were asking him when he'll know for sure, how much they'll miss him, etc.

2 days ago, it was confirmed that he is leaving in 9 days. I kept asking him to meet up with me for bkfast, lunch, a walk, anything, before he leaves. I just wanted to meet him. He said he needs to pack his clothes, how he is still working 6 of the 9 days, how he is feeling stressed and busy. He said he will be back to visit during the 4th of July and that is when he would like to meet me. He said if it goes well, we can visit eachother every month until October when he moves back. I told him I want to meet him before July 4th, even if it's for 10 minutes. He got snippy and said "I am really stressed out over here. I have 9 days to pack up and move to a different state. I'm still working, I need to say goodbye to my family. I'm trying to make this work out for us but you are not bending at all"

i dont understand. The only stuff he needs to move is his clothing. His company is setting him up in a furnished apt and paying for his current apartment while he's away. Why is it so hard to meet me for 10 minutes?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Because, honey, forgive me for being blunt, he has more important people to meet and say goodbye to than a girl he just met online... He wants to spend the little bit of free time he has left with his family and close friends, people who have been in his life for years and who he will not see that much during the next months. Meeting you is not a priority at this point.

    I have once moved to the other end of the country, and I can tell you the last month before moving was the most stressful of my life. And I didn't even have to work then. Even if you don't move your furniture, you have to go through all your stuff and decide what you want to take with you and what not. I didn't even have time to say goodbye to all of my friends, left alone go on a date with someone new.

    Long story short, you can't blame him for not having time to meet you. He's not hiding anything, he's really just busy. If you have to blame him, blame him for being on Tinder when he knew he would probably be out of State soon...

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What Guys Said 3

  • he mentioned about his family as well... but still, he should have time 4 u... so yup u might consider he's hidin sth... u should mention it 8)

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  • He's just being upfront. I wouldn't waist time perusing him.

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  • Ugh, I had to go through exactly the same situation with someone I met on okcupid. She kept saying she didn't want to meet up because she was moving away. It was bullshit.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Sounds like he's just not ready. He's stressed, has a lot on his mind, and meeting a new person is added stress as well. He's probably already thought about what would happen if you hit it off and then tried to continue with something after he moves. For a guy, even coming up with something to do and meeting someone new can be nerve racking. I think you pressuring him is making him pull back even more, to be honest. It's all too much.

    It stinks that the timing is bad and that he isn't as eager to lock something in with you. However, I think stepping back in this case will be helpful. Give him some space and be understanding of his situation. He may just be a flake who wasn't taking this serious to begin with, or he may be a good guy with a lot going on.

    Either way, backing off and letting him come to you will help regardless.

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  • i think he's just really busy like he said and he doesn't like that you are being pushy, in reality it wouldn't last just ten minutes he would have to drive there and back and stand there talking to you for at least half an hour to be polite whereas ten minutes is barely any time.

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  • he's hiding something.

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