Are my standards unreasonable?

My ideal guy:
1. Tall (at least 6'2).

2. Not cheap or broke (I'm not a gold digger, I wanna pat for as many dates as you or more but I expect you to return the favor. As in 50/50 or I pay 60% of the time and you pay 40% of the time)

3. Knows how to handle his alcohol and not get addicted to it.

4. Masculine and dominant (I don't want a sissy).

5. Doesn't like cheap dates.

6. Compliments me and notices when I wear my hair different.

7. Nicely dressed.

8. Respectful.

9. Can't be younger than 23 years old but not older than 50 years old.

  • Yes, you're asking for too much.
    28% (16)59% (44)45% (60)Vote
  • No, you're not.
    72% (42)41% (30)55% (72)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
I'm surprised to see that the height preference bothers people. Wow.
by the way, I have a bachelors, I'm financially stable, very attractive and respectful. I'm not the type of woman who annoys, irritates and nags her boyfriend constantly... Unless he wants me to lol.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think you're being unreasonable. I think it's important to know what you want. When you meet a guy who meets a lot of those criteria you can then decide if you want to compromise on anything, I suppose.
    In regards to noticing your hair, guys will sometimes not notice... I would like to say I have an eye for detail, but I have been sprung on this one more than once.

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What Guys Said 52

  • (1.) Unless you're like 5'10", I don't see why he must be at least 6'2". For someone who's slightly taller than that it angers me sometimes when a girl says she likes me because I'm tall and that's a determining thing, like if I was half a foot shorter I wouldn't be worth anything anymore. It's like if a guy says he likes you because your boobs are big and if you had A-cups he wouldn't give a damn about you.
    (2.) Reasonable.
    (3.) Reasonable.
    (4.) While masculine and dominance is a good thing to want, it sounds like you're going about it the wrong way. From how you put it, you might be looking for a macho hothead who thinks crying when your mom dies makes you a pussy. If you like that go ahead, but I wouldn't recommend it.
    (5.) What's wrong with cheap dates? I'm okay with expensive ones but cheap can be fun! Movies or activities like go karts are "cheap" but can be very rewarding. Besides, if you go big on the first date it makes it harder to back out and can cause him to be uncomfortable. A girl you've never met wanting to go to a 5-star restaurant the first date is going to set off red flags.
    (6.) Reasonable, but noticing hair difference isn't going to be a thing for many men, even observant ones. It's not something many people will notice or even consider worth caring about if they do notice.
    (7.) Reasonable.
    (8.) Reasonable.
    (9.) Reasonable.

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    • Um, no. I don't like hot headed guys. They can add a lot of unneeded stress and drama into a person's life. That's a big turn off.

    • If an Indian woman only likes you because your light skinned. Would that anger you too?

  • yup... chances r less than 1% to find sucha dude... sorry :-/

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    • I said unreasonable, not unrealistic lol. I don't think there are many guys like that out there.

    • That is ridiculous, the only standard that can be "hard" to meet, is the height. There are many guys like this one out there.

  • WELP!
    I'm out lol

    Anyway , when your lists goes beyond 5 pts... yeaaaaah

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  • i1127.photobucket.com/.../...f.com-add-text_15.gif Yes, you're asking for too much.

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  • I agree with a lot of the guys here. If you demand a lot, expect to offer a lot too, and not just in the bedroom. You may, to yourself, seem like you're not annoying, etc. but some guys may view you as that. To me, that's a lot of pressure to put on a guy. A lot of guys would not want to take that offer because they most likely think that, if they don't live up to your standards, you'll get mad. I'm being honest here. You'll find the right guy without your high standards. The more you keep up with those standards, the higher the chance you'll never meet the right one.

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  • No, it's not unrealistic, but here's the thing: if you're going to demand a lot, you better be able to provide a lot in return. Guys aren't just favor machines that exist to please girls. We have our own sets of desires and demands for the opposite sex. So if you want a guy who's a 9, don't go around wondering why he hasn't materialized when you aren't a 9 yourself.

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  • Nothing wrong your standards

    My only criticism is that you added that bit of:

    "I'm not the type of woman who annoys, irritates and nags her boyfriend constantly..."

    Uh, yes you are, because every girl/woman is.

    But I'd say these standards are actually required for a woman like you. Attractive and financially stable, women who have reached a certain status will never be happy unless they find a man who they see as better than them is some way shape or form.

    So for your sake, these standards are not only ok, but necessary.

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  • Well, you essentially cut out a huge fraction of the population with the height "requirement". Most people are around ~5'10".

    I don't really agree with 5.) because you don't have to spend a thousand dollars for a date to be enjoyable, and I think in terms of 6.) the whole construct of what we see as "masculine" and "dominant" and a "sissy" is just somewhat flawed - sure, someone should have a somewhat strong character in some regards to function in society, but that's not a male-specific trait. Females are frown upon if they act like "sissies" as well.

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  • You're height preference is a little unreasonable, but we all have I our own preferences but I wouldn't say they are unreasonable as long as you give a few of them leeway.

    The thing is though I think if you're going to have a certain level of expectations you have to meet or exceed quite a few of them yourself.

    For example if you want a respectful guy, you better be respectful towards him as well. If you want to go to nice places, don't have him pay for it every time. Relationships require an mutual effort and just saying "he gets to screw me" is not nearly enough.

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  • 2-9 are not unreasonable at all. Its called being a man.

    #1 with height, yeah, that's a stretch.

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  • "Doesn't like cheap dates." really? You judge a date by how much it cost? What kind of relationship are you looking for!

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  • Okay a few things. For number 1 very few guys are that height. I'm about 6'4 and have seen very few guys of the same height. Number 5: I don't see a problem with a cheap date every now and then. I mean what's wrong with just maybe staying home watching movies. Number 6: Just don't go expected a compliment or a comment whatsoever just because you change you'er hair. Hey if you want to change it fine, but for me I'm never really big on hair so unless you do something like dye it from blonde to red I most likely won't notice.

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  • You want a guy who is same age as you if you are 23, one year younger than you if you are 24 or who is 5 - 32 years older than you. Why does he have to be at least 6'2? Why no cheap dates? I guess going to the lake or ocean depending on where you live would not work. A picnic would not work either just to enjoy the company of each other and to enjoy nature. If no cheap dates then are you wanting only expensive dates?

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  • Sounds reasonable to me.

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    • The height might be hard to find though everything else seems fine.

  • I would say everything is reasonable except for number 5.
    Maybe you can elaborate... are you saying if he planned a date which cost him little to no money, like an outdoor activity or took you somewhere to watch the sunset (or whatever) you would not like it since he didn't put in any money?

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    • I don't mind dates like having a picnic and watching the sunset or curling up at his place to watch a movie etc. But if he NEVER wants to go out to dinner, sky-diving (if he's not too afraid), a helicopter ride, skiing or do anything like that at all then it's kind of a turnoff. I like to balance out the romance and quiet time with adventure.

    • Well you're definitely limiting your options A LOT but if you know what you want then go ahead as long as you can offer this guy everything he wants too.

  • It really depends on what you are bringing to the table yourself. If you're poor, mediocre looking and trashy than you are delusional to expect such a guy. You still have a right to have whatever standards you want, no matter how strict or lenient but that doesn't mean you are guaranteed to get what you are looking for.

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  • you are being very reasonable expect for the height issue. I think its pretty shallow to only date really tall people

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    • I can't help it.

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    • since the average height for males is 5'9"

    • Ok I'm not too far off then...

  • #4 on your list is often at odds with #'s 6, 7, and sometimes 8. The combination is unlikely. Though, it's hard not to notice "drastic" changes in hair style: but I wouldn't expect much feedback after a simple trim or something. The "nicely dressed" thing is admittedly relative, though. Most guys have no idea what "nicely dressed" even means.

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  • sound reasonable to me, but that guy's not gonna be easy to find, just the height thing already reduces the number a lot.

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  • Generally people attract a person of the other gender that is on the same level attractiveness.

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  • Nah, its fine, every girl has preferences. But if a good guy comes around, don't dismiss him just because he doesn't fit one of these.

    "1. Tall (at least 6'2).". . . You have no idea how much self control it took not to be bitter. *forces smile* 😬

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    • I appreciate your honesty. I think 6'4" is the ideal height but that's only my opinion.

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    • No. Girls of any height will like you. Not all girls like taller guys! Whether she is 4'9"-6'1" it doesn't matter. But I prefer taller dudes. That's just me.

    • Well... thanks anyway. I hope your right.

  • Men like these don't date women asking questions on Q&A sites, they are out there dating beautiful and succesful women.

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  • 1. Whatever (I meet the criteria - barely - so doesn't matter to me lol)
    2. Good for you.
    3. Drinking takes practice - you just don't want a drunk.
    4. You sound awfully dominant yourself.
    5. Would a day at the beach or a bike ride count as 'cheap'?
    6. How often? Too much and it will sound hollow.
    7. Not all the time.
    8. Reasonable.
    9. Far too broad - you basically want a man.

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  • Well, good luck with all that. I take it you are bringing something to the table.

    I don't know about the height preference bothering people but it does eliminate about 80% of males right off the bat. Better move to Scandinavia or that place in West Africa with all the 7-footers.

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    • 15% of the world are tall men over 6'1".. The results are so depressing it makes you want to move to the Netherlands (worlds tallest men). Yeah I'm 6' only reason why I know this much. Height is very limited

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    • i really hope most girls don't want six over because I'm official screwed then.

    • There are clubs/meetup groups for tall people to meet; a couple who were neighbors when I was a kid met that way. She was 6-2 and he was 6-5. Their son and daughter are now 6-10 and 6-6.

      Local example: www.meetup.com/San-Diego-Tall-Singles-Meetup/

  • My ideal guy:
    1. Tall (at least 6'2).

    If you are 6 feet then i think what you expect is fine. But if you are just 5'5", then 6'2" is too much for you.

    2. Not cheap or broke (I'm not a gold digger, I wanna pat for as many dates as you or more but I expect you to return the favor. As in 50/50 or I pay 60% of the time and you pay 40% of the time)

    You are right here. Both should pay.

    3. Knows how to handle his alcohol and not get addicted to it.

    If I were you (a girl), I would prefer a sober guy.

    4. Masculine and dominant (I don't want a sissy).

    Masculine - alright. Dominant - no way, marriage or relationship is all about mutual respect and not domination.

    5. Doesn't like cheap dates.

    This one is okay.

    6. Compliments me and notices when I wear my hair different.

    Its natural when he is in love you.

    7. Nicely dressed.

    Yes, totally reasonable expectation.

    8. Respectful.

    Yes, totally reasonable expectation.

    9. Can't be younger than 23 years old but not older than 50 years old.

    Yes, reasonable expectation.

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  • these are the trollz I warn men about.

    If you see her coming down the side walk cross the street and walk on the other side just in case.

    she represents the female so perfectly.

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  • I think you are right to have standards, so good luck.

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  • If you're enough of a catch to demand that, then I guess not. But you gotta be upper echelon to be able to demand all that.

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  • i dont think so , at least you are honest , lol

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  • just wanted to day I meet all your requirements, except I like cheap dates. Expensive and cheap dates.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 19

  • Not impossible. I'm with someone who meets all of the above, minus the cheap date thing. We both enjoy lazy movie nights, park days, hiking and other activities. They are out there.

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  • It's alright to have standards!

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  • www.gifwave.com/media/72224_yes-donald-glover.gif

    Unless your like 5'10, you should lower the height limit.

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    • I'm 5'8" and I prefer 6'4" and up. But I already lowered it to 6'2".

    • I'm 5'8 I prefer my guys 6'3 but if the guy had all the things I look for in a man I wouldn't turn him down if is 6ft. Remember the majority of men are under 6ft and average height is 5'9/5'10. I hope you find what you are looking for. ☺

  • i think that's okay, except for no. 6, guys usually hardly see that lol... that's just typical guy, but if you're really lucky, u got that one

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  • No, you are not. Im exactly like this, but I wouldn't care about his money and about the "cheap dates", I think I would enjoy the date even though we go to a picnic and we eat bread and butter :D. Im very careful with money myself and I dont like to spend money on something only if I really need it, I wouldn't want a guy younger than 23 but not older than 35.
    And yes, guy are very sensitive about this HEIGHT thing, which is hilarious.
    Good luck on finding your dream man <3 .

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    • Not really all that hilarious, imagine if someone said "no, I don't date women who are pear-shaped"

      Like, that's not exactly something you can change.

  • 1. Hard to achieve, but not impossible. I guess it's fine.
    2. Okay, that's quite reasonable.
    3. This is just a must
    4. Depends what you mean with it. A little bit of sis is also kind of cute right? Hope you're lucky with that and don't only go after the extreme dominant like types.
    5. Depends what you think is cheap. A walk in a park? Is that cheap? Because taking you out to a fancy restaurant every night is kind of unreasonable.
    6. It's a dude. They almost never see such things. If you mean giving a lot of compliments that can be reasonable.
    7. Reasonable
    8. Reasonable
    9. Reasonable

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  • Never lower your standards. Go after what you want! :)

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    • And never have to worry about someone else hogging the blankets

  • in my opinion you are asking for too much babe, you will never find a guy with all those qualities, I would say that you need to prioritize the qualities just choose 3

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  • You have preference and it's yours don't let anyone change that... although I highly doubt that you would do that.

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  • This is exactly what I want. this isn't too much to ask at all in my opinion..

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  • I think there's enough men like that that exist. I guess if you wanted to modify something it would be the height since there's a lot of great guys who are just a bit shorter.

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  • It's fine, depending on what you are yourself.

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  • Haha dw when you finally fall in love with someone these "standards" of yours aren't gunna matter for shit

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  • The only unreasonable thing is the height one. A preference is fine, requirement is not.

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  • I think you would probably have to compromise one or two of those. Like it would probably be hard to get all those features on a guy that tall, for instance, or he might not notice when you do your hair different. But I think you could find most of them in a guy.

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  • You need a farmer

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  • No you're absoultely not asking too much, your standards are very fair.

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  • You have your standards and that's fine but if you date a guy who doesn't match it don't try amd change him.

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  • no your fine

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