Why do are even non-promiscuous people getting judged for not accepting former promiscuous individuals?

I've been lately seeing this too. So now... even if you're non-promiscuous and obviously want a girl or guy with those same values, suddenly it's an ''oh no, you should get over it'' or ''the past is the past''. BS

Isn't this also trying to shove your lifestyle down our throats? By doing that.. basically we would now have to lower our standards and compromise/settle? Last time I tried to state my views on this, came a whole bunch extremists with the ''we can do whatever we want to'' or ''it doesn't matter if someone screw 50+, it's all in the past''.

No, I don't want someone that slept around in the past because I'm not like that either. Is this even too much to ask?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it is. My sister totally wants the same thing and it's what I want for her too.

    I also think it's better that way because everyone I know (mostly girls) who were waiting until marriage but ended up with someone who didn't have those same values wound up being heartbroken because they got cheated on (myself included)

    It's the same thing as saying I want to be with someone that believes and values what I do and no one seems to think there is anything wrong with that.

    Sex is just to big of a part of society today. It sucks but that doesn't mean that you can't find someone with the same values as you, even if it takes a bit longer.

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    • I'll into waiting for a relationship. Have been in 2 long-term relationships; with a former HS sweetheart and a college girlfriend. Though, on the 2nd relationship... she did lied about her past and I found out sometimes later on. It bothered me that I was lied to just so I can accept her into a relationship; that's like cheating your way.

    • I've been in only one relationship and it was with my hs sweetheart as well but I knew who he was and thought that he would change but I was just stupid for thinking that. We even got married and had kids before he cheated on me. Oh well, it was my fault for following my emotions rather than my intellect, won't be doing that again.

      I hope you find someone that is just right for you and don't worry about what other people say your business is none of their concern. Just be patient you'll find her.

What Girls Said 6

  • I don't have a problem with someone wanting to have a relationship with someone who has similar attitudes towards sex. Like, if someone is saving themselves for marriage and want a partner who has done the same; or someone who views sex as something that should only be shared with someone you love, and wants a partner who feels the same way.

    That said, I will take issue with anyone who expresses negative stereotypes about people who are promiscuous, or people who claim/suggest that people who don't share their views on sex are morally inferior. If I think something you say is shitty/wrong, I'll tell you.

    Generally speaking, I do think people place far too much importance on things like virginity or the number of partners someone has had. However, I recognize that not everyone agrees with me and I support their right to seek out a partner who shares their views.

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  • It's fine as you want to hold yourself to those standards as well and respect others' choices as you would like your own to be treated.

    It's usually the people who are like "well I only date virgins but I'd never marry a girl after she gave me a blow job I asked and pressured her for lol" that are a problem. The people who see their decision as morally better and look down on people who have different views are just as bad.

    As long as you're not like that I have zero problems with how you choose to live your life :)

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  • I don't think so, assuming you're that way yourself.

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    • I am and yet there were still these couple girls who with the ''we can now do whatever we what too'' attitude and trying to glorify sleeping around as if it was some type of accomplishment.

    • And you care why?

    • Some of those very same girls tend to cheat their way to get into a relationship by being with a non-promiscuous guy and making her look like what he's looking for. My 2nd girlfriend (well now ex gf) lied for the longest about her past and made it as low. She cheated her way and that's some time I'll never get back. I got cheated out of choice basically when she lied.

  • I always say to people "If you don't want the answer, don't ask the question"

    Just a thought dude.
    Peace xo

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  • Then don't get involved with someone who has slept with 50 people.

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  • its not too much to ask for.

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    • true and yet there were these couple girls crazily defending promiscuity as if it was some type of accomplishment in life. One even went all the way to saying it's normal to have casual sex.

What Guys Said 6

  • Fuck 'em.
    You set your own standards. If you find someone that meets them, great. If you don't, then you can enjoy your life of loneliness. Either way, it's entirely your call to make.

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    • Sure if I don't find the one, I don't mind taking my time and being single.

    • And that's your prerogative.

  • It is not too much to ask for. You know what your fucking problem is though? You get with a girl who has slept with a lot of people then hate on her for it, why not just go for the reserved prudes from the start instead of getting involved with someone you know you can even handle?

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    • Its your own hiccups that fuck with your head, not theirs. They can be happy and promiscuous and you can be happy and NOT.

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    • So since when is it ok to lie, deceive others just so you can enter a relationship? a relationship base on lies?

    • It is not, but she had already started, there was no reason to come clean.

  • Screw em, set your own standards and live by em.

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  • I think you misread opinions these people are saying they would have no problem with a SO who had 50 ex partners that is to say if you have fair enough.

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  • Doesn't matter what they say, you can have whatever standards you want and if you don't want to settle down with a promiscuous girl well you don't have to.

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  • Did you post a "I don't want someone that slept around in the past because I'm not like that either. Is this even too much to ask?" "question" or something?

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