Where did this false belief that a guy has to be confident to get a woman because I never have been and still got women. Why is this believed?

I often hear that you have to be confident to get a woman. I have never been confident and I've done quite well in dating. Every woman that I ever dated I never thought that I would get her when I approached her. I'm not loaded with money so I know money's not the reason . I never use pick up lines, wingmen, etc. and despite all of the women I ever dated, I never thought I would have a chance with them. I have asked women I dated why they said yes to me and none of them ever said anything about confidence personality which left me shocked because I thought that's what a guy had to have. So does that mean only certain guys have to be confident? Or is this confident or this widely believed notion false?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, when people talk about guys being confident, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be completely confident, confident all of the time, or confident in every area in your life. Everyone has insecurities.

    But you were, apparently, confident enough to approach women, to talk to them, and, I'm assuming, to more-or-less be yourself around them.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Obviously I don't know for sure but maybe you only dated the less confident girls. Its not a bad thing though if you know what kind of girl you should approach.

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  • i agree. this confidence thing is bs.

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  • its just more common.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Dude, confidence, like being a nice guy is a prerequisite to BEGIN with. That's just the start and then you have to bring your unique personality to the table tat separates you from the other guys and connects with a girl who likes that personality. But 100% in terms of playing women or being good with women, COMPETENCY with women is far more better than confidence. Women don't get that unfortunately.

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  • Confidence matters, but u gotta have the right social skills for the culture of the girls in your region.

    The culture of the girls in said area isn't talked about much, but that may be the missing piece for your success!

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    • I actually do alright in the dating game despite having the feeling that the woman I'm approaching isn't going to say yes

  • The illusion of confidence can be just as good as confidence. "Fake it 'til you make it" man.

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  • Amen Confidence is bull shit.

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