Can offering a support drive him away?

I know this guy for a month and I think he's great. We had few dates, but he started to act distant after we had our first kiss. I know he enjoyed, but he suddenly said that he is not ready for this, as he just broke up with his girlfriend in winter after 5 years of relationship. He also mentioned he is going through hard time at work and has some family issues.

The thing is that he contacts me, but I have a feeling that he is doing it just to keep the conversation going, out of obligation. I want to help him and give him some support so I wanted to send hm a text where I will tell him that I don't expect him to contact me out of obligation, that I know lots of things are going on in his life and appreciate he was honest with me. And if there is any way how can I help him or support him, I'm happy to do so..

What do you think? Does it sound clingy? I don't want to push him away nor make an impression that texting me is an obligation..

Should I send this text?

  • yes
    100% (1)78% (7)80% (8)Vote
  • no
    0% (0)22% (2)20% (2)Vote
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Most Helpful Guy

  • better do it... but wot makes u believe he does it coz of that?

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    • I don= t understand your question.. i don't know.. I think he may be also scared of me or lose an interest in me.. but he always mentions these issues

    • "The thing is that he contacts me, but I have a feeling that he is doing it just to keep the conversation going, out of obligation."

    • So you think that he lost interest and work is just an excuse? But why didn't he disappear completely? When he told me that he is not ready, I answered that "then I should let you go", but he disagreed. He told me it is not me, that he likes me, but he needs to figure it out by himself

What Guys Said 4

  • I said no to the text because I think it would be better to call. Say you are enjoying getting to know him and like him a lot but if he wants to take a step back from being physical and take it so your totally cool with it if it make him feel more comfortable.

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  • Yes. It is a friendly gesture on your part that he will appreciate, or he should if he has any sense.

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  • You're only looking out for him

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  • Support, empathetic people are a good thing...

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What Girls Said 2

  • GIRL, I was in this SAME exact situation!! Everything was great, he initiated most conversations, we had our first kiss, etc. After that, he said the timing was bad, family issues, work was crazy, blah, blah, blah. I tried the supportive thing. I told him, "If you need to talk to anyone with everything going on, etc. I'll be here for you." I was thinking, I'm being supportive and trying to stand by his side so he'll appreciate me for that. No, he told me I was smothering him at that point and that I needed to stop pressuring him. WHICH, I NEVER DID! But, I think that was his way of saying he didn't want to try this anymore.

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  • men don't like to feel hemmed in it is suffocating to them

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