Why is it bad to ask about previous relationships?

I am dating a guy and he always avoids the topic of ex-es. But I want to know everything about him! I want to know how to make him forget them and be happier. I feel like sometimes i do something that reminds him of them. I don't know. Why is it so difficult to share previous experience? He is my first though, so I don't have previous relationships.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because I want to leave that relationship in the past and I do not want to be reminded of what could have been or should have been. Having said that, you have every right to know everything about the person you are dating and when he is comfortable enough to share everything about himself and his relationships and sexual experiences, he will.

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What Guys Said 3

  • i consider it pointless personally :)

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  • He might not want to forget. I don't want to forget my exes. It's also kind of intimate stuff about strangers. Maybe he doesn't want to reveal their most private moments with him to you.

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    • oh wow.. that's an interesting point

    • why don't you want to forget your exes? do you still feel something towards them?

  • well my fiancee had quite a big sexual history before me and she has mentioned her past to me but she tries not to mention it anymore because she loves me and is happy were togther

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's up to him to divulge what details he wants to divulge when he is comfortable doing so. If you want to know a little more, tell him that, but it's up to him to decide how much he is comfortable telling you. Chances are, the longer you're together, the more details you will learn about his past from stories, etc.

    Personally, I don't want to know too many details about my BF's past relationships. I know they existed, and I know they ended, and I have some knowledge of why they ended. That's the most I want to know about it. As silly as it is, I cringe whenever he or one of his friends mentions one of his exes by name, because I don't like hearing about them (even though it's generally not good things - his friend really didn't like his last GF).

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    • well at least you know something.. i don't know why his previous relationships ended. he doesn't like to talk about it. does he still feel something to them? i want to know what happened to them, so that i won't repeat their mistakes. i don't want to force him to talk about it though..

    • If he was really hurt, then maybe he just doesn't like to think about it or talk about it because it's painful for him. That's ok.

    • When I say I have some knowledge of why they ended, I don't mean I have any idea what actually led up to them finally breaking up, but I do know that in both his significant past relationships the exes were demanding and wanted to be "taken care of" by him, and that they both had jealousy issues and hated his close female friends. Which of these particular issues spelt the end of which relationship, or if it had been something else entirely, I don't know; nor do I know what the straw was that broke the camels back in either case. I also don't care to know.

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