Is it weird/bad that I'm 21, in college, and kind of want to join something like OKCupid?

The reasonbis that I *think* I just went through a breakup. A few months ago, I started dating the girl I've been in love with for the past 1.5 years (her mom was preventing us from dating, she didn't approve). Eventually, she did approve, and we started dating. I honestly thouhgt I could marry this girl. It was going so perfectly. After so many years of heartbreak/stress/difficulty, I'm finally dating the girl of my dreams. Though she is very academically focused and I think her mom is a "helicopter parent". She had very little time. But we made it work. We'd see each other on weekends (weekdays couldn't work because of school & work)

Anyway, mid April this year, sudden no contact. It started to slow because final stuff for the yea was starting, so that's expected. She responded to a message apologizing she hasn't been in contact too much but she just said she has been unimaginably busy with school, and didn't have the time or energy to focus on anything else. So I kind of laid off contact for a bit to give her space and work. I've been trying to be accomodating. And from then till now (two months), I sent a few messages. no responses. Since then, I have just assumed that she is done with me, and that is completely heartbreaking. I've been pretty down lately.

Anyway, one of my good friends who's been talking me through this recommended OKCupid. I'm not the type to sleep around. I never have and don't want to I dont' think. I want a relationship with someone I can love. Not just sleep aroudn (aka tinder, etc). It's not hard for me to meet women at college (I'm confident, etc), but I just have a dealbreaker about partying, drinking excessively, drugs, etc. I can't stand it. It's a a dealbreaker for m. And at college, finding that's basically impossible. So OKCupid... werid for a heartbroken 21 year old in college? I guess I just hate being alone, and want a girl I can love like I thought I had. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah it broadens your horizon but don't get your hopes up most of them are tumblr rejects with personalities worse than a brick

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    • Ohhh boy, tumblr, huh? Yeah, that's what I kind of figured. I just guessed maybe it would be easier to find someone I'm looking for through that instead of via college, trying to find the one girl who doesn't party excessively. And yes, 100% of people I've met at my college this year (it's my first year here) all party, drink excessively, do drugs, etc. I don't like that, and that's a dealbreaker for me. And trying to find someone *not* like that in college? I think we both know it's damn near impossible. Let alone her to be someone I'd date, or personalities coincide, chemistry, etc. Everything I had above. Yeah, I just wasn't too sure if it was successful or not. I was always a bit hesitant actually believing it is.

    • It is possible to find a girl just that it is very low the only way to get a girl from there is to not be yourself

    • Well that was a bit difficult to understand. Punctuation would have helped haha. But from what I understand, you're saying that the only way for me to find someone like that is to *not* be myself? Kind of strikes me as counter productive. If that is what you mean.

What Girls Said 2

  • If you want some easy ass that will probably give you an std or a unwanted child, live recklessly & sleep with as many people as you want!

    Or take the higher road and work on being the best you, get an education, start a career and settle down when the right chick comes along. You have to first enjoy being alone with yourself.

    This YOLO Life is getting out of hand!

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    • Well, while I do hear that concept of needing to love yourself first, I kind of find it to be bullshit. Partly because I do love myself, but still hate being alone. So there you go. Naturally, humans are social beings. I am no exception. And I hate being alone. I can't stand it. I can easily *be* alone and entertain myself, but I still don't like it. I just want that one who I can share life with, like I had above. I still am hoping that works out, but if it doesn't, like I'm anticipating... I don't really know.

  • It's pretty common.

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    • Yeah, I just didn't know if it comes across as like... weird that I'm in college. Always a smorgasbord of women constantly. Yet I would choose a dating site? Partly because it's so hard finding someone without my said dealbreaker. In college. This girl who I love right now is like me, and she's one two people I've met in my life who is like me in that regard. And if she's gone, not only is it heatbreaking, it's damn near impossible to find that again. Let alone someone like her. And I just didn't know if it was odd to think about using things like that, or if they are even successful at all.

What Guys Said 1

  • Do as you please

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    • Well that wasn't exactly my question, but alright.

    • You know what breaks my heart is when guys need a woman to complete them. That makes them half the man. If I where you I'd find something that I love doing and try not to expect to much. Just live for the moment because tomorrow is never promised.

    • Apologies for the delay. I never got the notification you added another comment. But I see what you're saying. A few friends told me the same, or something similar. It's hard to do, but you might be right. I'll try to be better about that. Thanks

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