Lay off, or initiate?

Her first day is tomorrow and I want to send her a text in the morning wishing her luck. But I have also been intiating a lot lately and I kind of want to lay off and wait for her to initiate so there is more of a balence. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmmm... what type of girl is she and how does she respond when you do message? Does she seem like she is really into you? Personally, I like when a guy texts me before something like that to wish me luck. I liked when a guy that I was talking to would text me in the mornings to tell me good morning and that he hoped I had a good day. It put a smile on my face. Then he stopped doing it. I thought he was losing interest. Come to find out, he wanted me to do the same for him every now and then. I had no clue. He thought that I wasn't as interested in him as he was in me. It was a complete misunderstanding that ended those texts. He was offended and I got my feelings hurt by his reaction. I was always enthusiastic when we talked or messaged (every single day), so I thought he knew that my interest was there. I was wrong. I also knew that his work hours were crazy and he was usually already at work when I woke up and sometimes when I went to bed. I didn't want to disturb him if I wasn't sure whether he was working or not. He saw that as disinterest. I told him, but he didn't want to hear it. In the end, he showed me his true colors and I am glad that he did. He saved us both a lot of time.

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    • Well, when we are in person she is clearly into me. We have gotten past the point where we try to hide it. But over text, she just sucks lol. I've called her out on it and she knows that she is bad. Though I have not expressed how that makes me feel yet, will do that on our date on Friday . So far I initiate like 70/30 it feels like. And I kind of feel like that guy you described, she's an amazing girl and I really want this to work.. but I also don't want to feel like I am bugging her or being annoying because i initiate more than she does..

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    • Yeah, I am just going to let it happen naturally. Youve given me some great advice. I really appreciate it!

    • Definitely. The reason it didn't work with that guy and I was because he didn't want to see my point of view. He didn't care how I felt. He wanted things his way and that was it. Compromise goes a long way in a relationship. Good luck on your date!

What Girls Said 4

  • always lay off

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  • Dump this bitch until she starts acting right...

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    • nawh, thanks though.

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    • Well you want my advice between now and then. Send her a message for whatever reason it is if it makes you feel better. Breaking character now will not do you any favours. But when the date comes contact her only on that day purely and simply to TELL her when you will be picking her up or when a good time is for you to meet if that is suitable for for her. If she doesn't respond dont even bother washing your knob. In the date ease up, have fun, be a fun guy to be around, be interesting, but above all dont get lovey dovey. Only get touchy feely. It is so important.

    • Thats great i have just read your stuff. Glad you are at least comfortable with one another. Good luck on the date. That is the most important thing. Im glad we have finished on the same page. Too many good men have gone to waste because they play the game wrong. And finally... Eat that pussy good!

  • initiate tomorrow. THEN lay off

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  • Initiate!!

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What Guys Said 2

  • Striking a balance is important especially if you're beginning to feel that this encounter is mostly one-sided.

    The safest way to get her to initiate in a way that shows her interest is to set the stage for her. Say something like "I have to go now, text me after you're off work and let me know how it went" or "I'll be busy all day and available tomorrow night if you want to shoot me a text". Those messages set the stage for her to make a move, and she will do so if she's interested.

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    • we do have a date set for Friday , but it's on her to tell me if she is free or not. So there's that. But this is also good advice. I think she is just a poor communicator, cause I have no doubt she is into me.

    • That's great. Hopefully the date is informative and leads to your desired outcome. If you mix in these types of texts she might get accustomed to initiating out of sheer comfort.

  • Yeah I agree with the girls initiate and then maybe layoff, but do not layoff for too long

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