How to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop?

The last few guys I've dated/gone out with have turned out BADLY. The liar, the cheater, the really boring guy. I've started seeing a new guy and so far there are no problems. He met some of my friends and they liked him, he contacts me regularly, he wants to see me a lot, he is open about stuff but after such bad luck in the past I can't stop thinking that this is going to go bad Too. I don't want to feel like this. I want to be able to trust him. How can I get over this feeling?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Unfortunately I understand this all too well. It's very hard to open up fully when you've been hurt so badly in the past. It really is a mindset on your end though, I've learned. It's hindsight now, but what I found helped me was just being single for a long time and focusing on myself. Being confident in yourself and being able to differentiate between being alone and being lonely are very important. That said, now that you're in a relationship now I'd say you need to focus on you here a lot. Try to remind yourself that this guy is not 'so-and-so' or 'jack off' ;) Clean slate. This guy could be great, so focus on what he does, not just what he says. If you let those liars and cheaters cloud your vision, you may project that on him and that's not fair. Dating is going to get you hurt, that's a fact. You can't be afraid of that or you'll ruin the fun in the process. So like I said, I'd spend some time with yourself and really cope with the hurt you haven't let go. People suck, it's life, their loss! Enjoy this new guy. Maybe have a girl night with friends and do one of those cliche bon fire things, burn stuff that reminds you of those old guys. It's silly, but maybe the act of it will feel good and you'll let go a little more.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Maybe you should watch this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuKV2DI9-Jg

    This will explain everything. It will take you just four minutes.

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  • Stop looking for the perfect guy, maybe its you the problem. You have to think its your wrong or their. You only could go by what he present you or unless its proven other wise. Is he lier or cheater if not shown by him, then he not. You can only taken what given to you

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  • Because of my past or my first love, I've never really been whole again. I guess you just have to believe that this relationship you got right now would last

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What Girls Said 0

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