First it was no, but now maybe it's yes! What should I do?

I met a guy a few months ago who was clearly interested in me - wanted to go to church with me and my family, invited me to things, etc. I was not interested in him because he is 10 years younger than I am and I told him so. I admit I haven't always treated him as well as I should have - putting us in group situations, etc. when I think he contemplated something different.

We end up attending the same functions - often unplanned. Several people have thought we were a couple and one person even said she picked up on chemistry between us, but I told her no, we're just friends.

Now he has met several of my female friends, which has been fine with me. In fact, I kind of put him together with a couple of them. He is very outgoing, cute, and a great dancer. They both like him. One of them is even his age and attractive.

The problem is that now I think I'm starting to want him for myself! A bunch of us went to a gala last weekend and then went to a private club for dancing. I don't know whether it's beause he requested and we danced to a romantic song I told him I think is sexy, or what, but for the first time in the months I've known him I've started thinking about him a lot this week! When one of our mutual friends told me he invited her to something he told me he's going to, for the first time I felt a little jealous. Now I'm finding that I want to go dancing with him again - and for the first time I want it to be just the two of us.

What's going on with me and what should I do?

  • Nothing - you may run into him at a function and let things play out.
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  • Invite him to something and ask him not to bring anyone along - hel'll get the hint!
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  • Nothing - I snoozed, so I lose!
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Updates:
He texted me a couple of hours ago about the function tonight which I referred to above, writing, "See you tonight sweetness." Truthfully and very unfortunately for me, it turns out I can't go tonight after all, although he and my female friend are going. Should I respond by telling him something's come up, but asking, "How about a raincheck for the dancing lessons next week?" If so, could I add, "what do you think of not inviting anyone else so that we won't have to switch out dance partners?
We made two sets of plans, to go out Thursday night (an event and then dancing at a private club) and then the dancing lessons of another type (like salsa) Tuesday nights starting next week. We are just technically just friends, but one of our other mutual friends just texted me that a third girl who went out with them last night told her the two of them are now mutually exclusive. He should not have made plans to go dancing with me Thursday if that were the case. What to do?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I suggest you figure out what you really want first, then decided what to do. It seems to me that your suffering from what economics calls "Positional good". In a nutshell, until someone else wanted this person, he wasn't good enough for you. That is a very bad way to start a relationship. Lets assume you date him, and thing go on for a very long time. How are you going to feel when he is "Yours", so to speak. Are you going to what to be with him when no one else wants to date him? Figure out what you really want from this man, then do what is right. If you truly want to be in a relationship with him, then do it, but if your only after him because someone else wants him, leave him be.

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What Guys Said 2

  • i believe u developed feelongs towards him... and if he doesn't care about ae difference, then everything's fine ;)

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  • I'd find something that he mentioned in passing... liking antiques... cars... food... and tell him that you are going to XYZ and remembered that he had mentioned that. Would you like to tag along. It is a "friend date"

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What Girls Said 1

  • Nothing, let it go.

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