If you have had 2 long term relationships and they both ended. does it mean you have to change?

I'm 26 years old. I've had 2 relatioships, first one was with my first love and lasted for 4 years. 2nd one lasted about 3 years and we broke up last week. I'm just wondering i've always been in long term relationships but somehow they just didn't lead to marriage. does it mean there's something wrong with me and i have to change myself to succeed at the next one? or they werent just the right ones for me? the breakup reason for both relationships was we didn't get along and too much fights/arguments eventhough they were both very happy during the first 1-2 years.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Both of those are real possibilities (that they weren't the right ones, and that you needed to change/grow a little).

    I have been in a couple very serious relationships myself, and obviously they didn't work out. I did change as a result of them, but it's not like I made a conscious decision to do so. It was more like a growth of character, I guess.

    Anyway, it's unlikely that you've got anything majorly wrong with you. What's more likely is that these were just the wrong guys at the wrong time.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Not really just because two ended does not mean you are doing something wrong. You have to learn how to give in take a little bit though

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  • That depends on if the type of guy that your attracted to is just wrong for you.

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  • Yes and No it more likely means that you grew apart and wanted different things.

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  • what were the arguments about, if you don't mind me asking?

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What Girls Said 3

  • Hm, what were the arguments about, if you don't mind me asking?

    Sometimes when people are in a relationship for so long, they start to get anxious, or bored, or who knows what... I know it's tough to have a long-term relationship come to an end, but don't place the blame all on yourself. Obviously the relationships went well for a while, but then something changed somewhere along the way... it's up to you to figure out what that is. Did the spark die? Did the two of you realize you had different views on where you wanted the relationship to go?

    For whatever reason, your compatibility faltered, and the two of you were unable or unwilling to work on it. I'm sorry to hear things didn't work out, but hopefully you can still take something from this, and have a more successful relationship in the future.

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    • The arguments were just about everyday couple stuff nothing major like cheating or drinking/gambling but we were fighting on a weekly basis so it was slowly killing whatever fun we have. what i dun get is how come everything was so fine the first few years we didn't have any fights/arguments i m sure i didn't change but it seems to me the guys always change abit hence came the arguments

    • Hmm... well if their behavior began to change noticeably, it's possible they were becoming complacent and comfortable after being in a relationship for so long. That's just a wild guess though, it's hard to say without knowing the people involved. It's also totally possible that you changed a bit too, though it's harder to notice when it comes to yourself, I think.

      Arguing sucks and if you can't get away from it or compromise or anything... things are only going to keep going downhill. Again it's something both of you need to be willing to work on, which I know is easier said than done and I hope I'm not coming off too lecture-y, I'm just kinda tossing things out there

  • no nothing is wrong with you and you shouldn't change for no one if they truly loved you they should have accepted you and your flaws. so darling they just were't the right ones :)

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  • there is no need to ever change who u r/while ur relationships lasted for a time/ neither was the right one.. marriage and the special guy will happen one day/while it may seems hopeless it truly is not and u will prevail.

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