How much physical intimacy should you have when you're dating?

Obviously, the first date might not see anything since things are new, but as dating goes on, how much intimacy is considered normal? Is it really hooking up every time you see each other or not? How does the physical correlate to the non-physical?

I feel like whenever I start "dating" a guy, the guy pushes for physical very quickly and soon the whole "how was your day?" "what are your passions/hobbies" just turns into sex, sex, and more sex. I'm not sure if I'm doing it right because I don't really enjoy that aspect as much as the conversation and genuine hanging out with someone.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well my relationship is kind of just sex sex sex, but I feel like we are really good at balancing it out by going out and just chilling (granted pretty much whenever we come back to my place we are just gonna have sex, but that is as much my choice as his) also my relationship started out very physical cuz that is the initial reason we contacted each other and it just happened to work out. make sure if he wants to hang out, it is not passed a certain time. plan things ahead of time to be sure that you guys will get to spend some nice couple time together. if you want to have someone to talk to don't go on a lot of movie dates. Some things me and my boyfriend do are go to the arcade and play games, we go out downtown (or whereever ) and just walk (we do this a lot). Not gonna lie sex is one of my favorite parts, but I really feel like for the amount of sex my and my boyfriend have we balance it out pretty well with other activities. Also if you want a relationship less based on sex, I think you should put your foot down in the beginning of the relationship and set the pace for sex, there is no rule that says just cuz he wants sex you have to have it with him. Actually my boyfriend and I didn't have actual sex till after about 3 months or so. you got to look at them as a friend and sexual partner. it was pretty easy for my case, I remember one day my boyfriend asked if he could be my best friend and we pretty are best friends that have a lot of sex. You got to be the boss lady!!!

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What Guys Said 4

  • actually u should start after 3-4 dates at least :)

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  • After the first date and I break the physical-touch barrier, things start escalating pretty quickly lol.

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  • a quik peck on the cheek is as far as i wil go

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  • I think it's different for everyone. If I really like her then I'm interested to talk to her.. because I find her and what she has to say interesting. If it's more casual I still keep that going, as it's in my interests. Guys slack because you let them get away with it.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Depends on the person.
    Personally, I have a very strict 'no physical intimacy for someone who's not my boyfriend' policy. If we are dating, then the guy doesn't get 'boyfriend privileges' such as sexual, unlimited access to my body. This is simply what works for me and keeps me from exposing myself to assholes who don't deserve me in any way let alone in such an incredibly intimate way. Not only that, but it seems like once people make sex the priority of their connection, whatever potential they have evolves into a disposable, replaceable f*ck buddy scenario. A f*ck buddy can and will NEVER be a satisfying as the selfless, non self-absorbed care, tenderness, and adoration you'll receive from a boyfriend or a man who has a legitimate interest in your mind and heart.

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  • It's different for every couple really. Some couples enjoy the hooking up aspect more than the conversational part. But it sounds like what you might want to try is befriending someone without really flirting at first. If you two are compatible as friends, it's far more likely that you will work as a couple than if you met with the intention of dating/hooking up. This also ensures that he will likely already respect and like hanging out with you, so the sexual stuff is more like icing on the cake. Hope that helps!

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  • However much you're comfortable and happy with. If you want less sex and more conversation, don't let anyone try to push or pressure you into anything else. If the guy you're dating doesn't want that, maybe he's just not the right guy for you. That's okay. Just try someone else.

    Don't worry about what's normal (within the first few dates can be considered normal, and I also know plenty of people who want to wait for marriage, so what's normal is irrelevant). Worry about what *you* want.

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  • as much as you want/like.

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  • My boyfriend on our first date grab me and hugged me and said your going to be mine, and I'm gonna love you like no man has ever loved you, I was so turned by that we started making out right then and there

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  • I believe that physical intimacy is much more than sex. Sometimes it is on much more of a deeper level than that. Of course, I love sex. I just do. So whenever my 4 year long boyfriend wants to get it in, I am there and more than willing. However, intimacy for me is much deeper than that. I don't really know how to explain it, because it is something you have to feel, rather than see. However, intimacy is different for everyone.

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