Would you date a woman with children?

I read an old post and was shocked on the answers. Anyways, if she had a career, car, house and took good care of her children would it really be awful for a guy to date her? Her first kids father died and the second was controlling/abusive. Is it really frowned on to be a single mom because of things that happen out of her control? I don't expect younger guys to say anything nice but this is more for the older crowd. But feel free to drop an opinion either way.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I really would sympathize with this woman.
    For the lost of her first husband.

    But why have kids with someone who is controlling and abusive?
    That shows that she has self esteem issues.
    Because any secure woman wouldn't deal with that.

    I don't think people should judge this woman on her past.
    I also don't think kids should be looked at as baggage.
    However, if a man is walking around with no kids of his own,
    It's only natural he's going to want the same.

    It's not that he's judging you... it's that he has a preference.
    I find people can look past a woman have one kid.
    But when it comes to a handful of them... that's overwhelming for some guys.

    This woman can find true love!
    I would applaud her being super mom... despite all of her hard obstacles.
    She will eventually find love... although it may be harder to find.

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    • Lol I don't think she got punched in the face and fell in love and had a child! I'm pretty sure you have had a situation where someone lied to you and when you found out it was a lie you were upset no? Because how can someone fake in your face and you fall for it, same thing with abusive people everything can be fine for a very long time and one day the lies go away and the truth comes out!

What Guys Said 16

  • Any decent guy who found that you have a compatible personality would be foolish to dismiss you as a potential partner/wife. He might never get another lady to be even close to what he wants. It doesn't matter how many kids there are. You and the kids come as a package. Want the lady, then take the kids as well. Help to bring them up in the best way you can. All kids deserve, and need, a stable family life.

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    • Well said! I know a bunch of women who have kids and are married to men with none and they're very happy! The same type of guys who didn't want kids or women with kids and came to there senses.

  • When people choose not to date someone with children it's usually not a moral judgment thinking anything is wrong with that woman with kids. It's just that many people who want kids usually want a fresh start with someone and have their own kids with them.

    And then there's people like me who doesn't even want kids of my own. You might understand that taking care of other peoples kids would be even less desirable for someone like me.

    But I guess the older the woman with kids becomes the less of a problem it will be since the kids will grow up and pretty much take care of themselves.

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    • I get the whole personal choice thing and respect it. What I don't get is that where does that come into affect that the guy would ever have to take care of someone else's child? If she is financially stable on her own what does she need of you to be taking care of them? Is it that hard to interact with kids lol were were all kids once upon a time. A fresh start can end up in the same situation a single dad/mom it happens all of the time.

    • There's a huge difference if the children is in their teens or around 2 or 3 years old.

      If you plan to live with someone with kids, the kids become part of the whole package. You can't live together with a woman and completely ignore the needs of the small children. They will become more or less emotionally dependent on the male which no man with a heart can ignore. You can't isolate yourself from the children without sending bad signals towards the children. It will become a burden they haven't chosen but still can't just walk away from.

      That is one perspective and another is of course that the children will be welcome and he will feel and become like a father to the children. There's no right and wrong here. People just have different preferences in life and choose different paths to take.

  • I would not see it as an issue your kids are part of your life and if I have fallen for you, I know that includes your children.

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  • Right now? No. I'm too young to be dealing with kids. I know she wants something to last forever, and I'm not ready for that.
    In the future when I'm more stable? Yeah, I wouldn't care, but only if she's open to have a kid with me.

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  • not my thing tbh :)

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  • I'll admit that i don't want children to begin with, and having kids that werent even my own wouldn't that great... But if we REALLY clicked, and i fell in love with her, anything is possible.

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  • Would make no difference to me... i am dating her not her kids.

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  • I would, say Why not?

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  • No I wouldn't, don't want kids.

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    • I'd only be down for something casual if she had kids.

  • I have no problem at all. But most women don't want to date me because I'm nerdy looking even though I am not a nerd. I just look like one.

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  • Definitely...

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  • Her situation is unfortunate, but it doesn't change anything. I want my own kids. Genetically mine. Odds are, she may not want more--and even if she does, that's a ton of responsibility to assume so quickly. And honestly, the relationship is largely going to be about the kids she already has, as they will have come to dominate her life. More baggage than I care to deal with--and all that assuming she's a stable and successful woman.

    I can't stress enough--if a guy wants kids, he wants them to be HIS.

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    • I get it but its close minded to be that way. I mean what if you find that special woman with no kids right, you marry her and now it's baby time! Time goes by and still no baby! You find out one of you can't have kids.. No matter what options you have nothing works... You adopting a child or divorcing her?

    • Life's too short to keep every option open. I set a guideline and I stick to it. It's a good guideline that prevents the chance of ending up with a train wreck.

      And yes, I'd likely leave her if she was infertile. I'd look into other options first, but push comes to shove, I'd replace her.

      And you know what? It's selfish to ask a guy to do this. You KNOW your genes are passing on into the next generation already, if you are a single mother. Biologically, you are already successful. But you're asking a guy to raise *another* guy's kids, and possibly at the expense of not having his own--making him an evolutionary loser, a complete chump. No thanks.

  • Too much baggage. I want my own family, not raising someone elses kid.

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    • Well good for you!

    • To much baggage? Not really have you dated a single mom? Do you know if you can have kids to begin with? Hopefully you can but if not those Baggages you were talking about, well you may be the one unpacking it! Just saying loll!

  • No, I have nieces and nephews and I couldn't deal with that 24/7 yet. Also the children take priority, I don't have a problem with that if they are my children, but not a random baby daddy's. I'd feel like there's a cuckoo in the nest coming between me and her. I can find a woman without children to have my own children with and that's what I prefer to do.

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    • Good for you!

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    • Yes always do what's best for you! But hopefully things work out when you do end up having kids but don't forget divorce, death, and breakups are a factor things happen

    • I know, I'm a realist.

  • I find that it's the other way around -- single moms don't want to date me because I don't understand what it's like to be a parent.

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    • Loll aww! It depends at what point in her situation you came in! She may be sensitive still because it's a sense of rejection for her and her kids depending on her situation. But a good single mom who accepted her situation and has a good head on her shoulders, who wants something real will show you the ropes if your willing and not jump down your throat for things lol

  • Hell yes, I don't do kids. It is hard for me to view you as sexual when I am thinking of KIDS RUNNING AROUND YOUR HOUSE or crying.

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    • Lmao I can't deal! There's plenty of moms who have rules like, "no running in the house, that's for outside" and schedules like "bedtime at 8" "grammas house every tue" "daycare/school from 630a-6pm) plenty of time/opportunities to take care of sexual needs morning noon and night!!! Loll

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    • Lmao but women have periods and you still look at them sexual no? A child isn't the only thing that comes out of there lollll you can't be serious! And the sex is still the same as with a women with no children, just saying!

    • No, this is much different. I just can't get the image of your kids out of my head because I associate them with you. It makes it SO MUCH harder to see you as sexual.

What Girls Said 5

  • I was once a single mom. I don't think that people realize the struggle that we go through. The stress of getting our shit together, providing the attention, love, and affection to our baby, plus going to school/work. ---Which means we need to provide childcare! I don't think that many people will ever understand. The women who can handle being a single mom and still keep the hair in her head (I know I wanted to rip mine out a few times) are amazing!!!

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    • I know so many men who've married a woman with kids and had none of his own. i know so many men who wouldn't mind taking a woman with kids serious. Some of these comments are just wild, unrealistic and immature, most of the preferences they base there choice on is petty lol.

  • I'm not a dude or a lesbian but I wouldn't date a man with children. However, as I get older, if I were single past a certain point that kind of becomes an unreasonable expectation.

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  • I wouldn't, I want children of my own.

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  • I'm a woman with no kids so I can't say I know what it's like... but can single moms just find a single dad to date? That would be easier and he'd accept you

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    • I feel like you like what you like no matter if he has kids or not so a single mom shouldn't have to exclude a man because he doesn't have kids. I know so many men who doesn't mind a woman with kids and so many couples who the man accepted her kids with none of his own and married her. I've never heard comments like this until I joined this site I'm pretty shocked.

  • I would not.

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