15 year age gap bothers him? What can I do to comfort him?

I've been off and on dating my current boyfriend for little over a year now. I'm 19 and he's 34. Most of our break ups are consisted on the fact he thinks it's not fair that he wants things in life that he thinks I am not ready for, though time and time I try to convince him otherwise. Has anyone been in this situation before? Can you tell me what I can do to convince him I am ready to commit to settling down and such? I know this sounds silly, I am quite mature for my age, I don't party or drink or any of the sort, I just want to prove to him I'm ready to take on life challenges with him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • What are the things that he wants?

    Sex? Marriage? Kids?

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    • Eh, my finger slipped, sorry for the down rating lol. He does want marriage and kids, and I'm fine with that, he just doesn't believe me when I tell him that I see myself marrying him. Keep in mind.. He's never been married or had kids, and has only been engaged once when he was in his early 20's.

What Guys Said 6

  • 15 years is a lot! Wow, people are gonna think he's your dad. He could be your dad. Just wow. 15 years... Wow. But yeah, just tell him that you want to settle down with him. Tell him that he's not making you settle for him and his life but rather that he is just what you are looking for even though he is an old fart

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  • Is the issue more that he thinks you don't want those things in your life? If that is the case I would be clear that isn't how you feel. If he doesn't understand that he may have a reason for not believing you. I would probe why he doesn't think that's the case. Maybe he has a belief that because of your age you aren't capable, despite what you say. Ultimately his opinion will always be up to him though.

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  • I'm in a similar situation, but she is 22 and I'm 37. We've discussed future plans, where to live, what we want and all the little things. But, as others have posted, a lot changes in your early 20's. I don't doubt that you currently believe this will work, but as times passes, you might find your feelings change. I think he has doubts, just like I do about the long term outlook in my relationship. I entertain the idea, sure, but in the back of my mind I am think about what the future will change. I am not saying relationships with a large age gap can't survive, love makes it through amazing challenges and I wish you two the best. Only time will tell, I take it one day at a time, let the relationship prove itself.

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  • What are the ways you SHOW him you are in the same stage in life as he is? How many other "serious relationships" has he had besides the gal he was engaged to? What were their ages?

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  • I would give 20 years off the end of my life to be in his situation!

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  • Well if it bothers him that much he should find a woman his age

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What Girls Said 2

  • He has a point, women do a lot of changing between 18-25. Is he wanting children? If not, I don't see any other reason why it should be a huge concern, unless he's thinking you'll grow out of him and leave for a younger guy.

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  • just tell him that age is just a number.

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