Is this ok on okcupid :"you should message me if you've never been married, engaged and don't have kids"?

iI'm thinking of mentioning the above in my Okc, as I'm not interested in meeting those people. do you think that is ok


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "Please message me if you are: Single, available, never have been married, and don't have children... I look forward to hearing from you."

    Good luck. xx

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    • thanks that sounds good

    • Oh, so welcome, sweetie... I do not blame you for wanting to to point this out... I have even found the more honest Johns on their own will now even state, which is a disappointment sometimes: In an open relationship."lol:)) xx

What Guys Said 7

  • That's fine, it's your profile and you are able to limit who you want contacting you. If you have too many people messaging you, strict things like that can be a way of helping filter.

    Keep in mind though, that you are basically asking for 'people who have gone their entire life, into their late 20s, without having a real, solid, long-term relationship'. Unless you are putting a huge amount of difference on 'legal marriage' vs 'common law marriage' for some reason. So people in that 26-30 age range, that have never had a relationship that was all that serious, are going to possibly have some kind of issues, particularly around commitment.

    If you are looking for something casual and light though, that could actually be an even stronger reason to put up requirements like that, as it would be weeding out people that tended to commit quickly.

    So yes, it's ok. And depending on what kind of people you're looking for, it's quite possibly a really good idea.

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    • actually I'm simply asking the people who have been married, have kids, or were even engaged to be married NOT to contact me. not all long term relationship get to engagment or marriage. now i dont think posting this is gonna stop those people from contact me because I doubt that most men message before they read a profile

    • Yes, I understand what you are asking for. I am just mentioning that there will be knock-ons to that about what type of people that will leave. But as you mention, a LOT of men don't read the profile anyway for some odd reason, and so it will only be partially effective as a filter. A lot of female friends using the site have guys that are completely opposite of their requirements message them anyway, and they get a million messages that are just "what's up" or "you're hot" or crap like that. okc can be a great site, but you do have to wade through a lot of crap to find the value.

  • Yeah it is okay but I feel that maybe you shouldn't narrow your options really strictly. I would decide to discount them quickly after meeting them but I may surprise myself and connect with someone else I didn't expect to.

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  • it's yer account... so u can set yer own rules!

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  • yeah thats fine

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  • Nah, you seem really picky and would put off a lot of guys.

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  • So some guy's wife or fiance died and you wouldn't be open to him? smh

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    • no because I've never been married, i want meet people like me

  • I am one of those people and I wouldn't message you. My mom had a four year old kid and my dad was divorced when they met. They got married when my dad was 25 and my mom was 23. My dad's previous marriage changed him drastically and for the better as did my brother for my mom. They've been happily married (and I don't use the word happily lightly) for 25 years. Just yesterday my cousin told me when she looks for a partner she uses my parents as her example. Despite having wonderful parents of her own. Her dad's spine was damaged when he was 19. And now he struggles to walk but it drastically changed the way he approached life. Now both of our parents are well off compared to growing up poor on a farm and all of their kids have degrees a few on the PhD and MD level. I say this because sometimes poor experiences are necessary to teach us valuable skills and those valuable skills could make all the difference in your future. And if I read your request I'd say this person's probably not the person I'd want to meet just because she's disqualifying people over one life decision so quickly.

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    • the only reason I want that is because I've never been married, engaged and I don't have a kid, I just want to be with someone like me. I'm not saying that these people are not good. I've been in a long term relationship and even though my boyfriend brought up engagement, we never got there...
      I prefer to mention it, because if I meet someone and I learn few months after that he's been married, I will break up with him

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    • someone suggested this, do you think this is better : "Please message me if you are: Single, available, never have been married, and don't have children... I look forward to hearing from you."

    • Throw in the word perferably before the married and children parts and I think things may go over well.

What Girls Said 4

  • Perfectly reasonable.

    That's how my boyfriend and I matched up.

    We don't believe in marriage and don't want kids, so it was crucial for us to be compatible in that respect.

    If I don't want kids of my own, I sure as hell don't want to have to deal with somebody else's and especially their ex bitch.

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    • i want to have kids and i want to get married , i just don't want to get married to someone who's already been married

  • They're your own preferences! Go right ahead.

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  • I think then you get the message across, but I think there are also questions that mention that, like those match questions?

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  • it's okay!

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