Guys, Am I being to nice and caring?

I have been dating this guy for almost five months, and I have noticed that I do a lot for him. Like cook dinner, give back rubs, foot rubs, try new things in bed (which usually turn out good ;) ) , spend more time at his house than my own ( almost every afternoon), and recently doing his nails for him. I really like him and he acknowledges that I do a lot, but I have to ask for him to give me a back rub (and feel like he half-asses it). He does treat me to dinner and I feel like he does bring a lot to the table, but I worry I am giving away too much too soon and he will start taking for granted the things that I do, and it won't get me to my end goal which is to be a wife ( not that I'm in a rush I just know he is what I have been looking for). As a guy what do y'all think? Should I do less or demand equality or am I over thinking?

Updates:
Today I brought up how I felt like I was maybe too nice sometimes and then explained how I felt a little uneven on the affection, he got pissed at me because I was having a hard time figuring out how to say it without saying I don't feel like he cares (didn't want to hurt his feelings) and then when I finally got it out he just said "okay" , not sure if that meant we were good I asked and he told I was annoying the f**k out of him. I still went to see him but I don't feel the same. Any advice?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Relationships are all about communication so work on that a little to improve, but I do not think you are giving away too much. If you a feel like you are doing too much then pull back a little and wait until he asks you to do those things for him. Obviously do not stop doing everything and just completely pull away or he will think something is up

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    • I figured he would think I was upset or something if I did stop everything, I think I will just ask him to return the favor every once and awhile.

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    • Thank you for MHO :)

What Guys Said 13

  • Yes, you seem to be doing lot for him and
    i agree if you want a back massage he should
    return it to you romantically so you feel loved
    it would be nice if more girls like you were out there
    he is one lucky guy and should appreciate you more
    i know he brings lot to the table but you do lot for him.

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  • Well Im a guy your thinking ahead when it comes to your goal live in the moment basically I feel that you shoild tell him how you feel Communication is key factor of steady relationships if he cares he will listen mention you feel he should do more but first tell him what you do for him because most guys barely pay attention to what's going on because were so caught up in doing what we have to do we forget everything around us lol but speak to him don't run to social media lol & if you have a close girlfriend ask her for advise

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    • Thanks I need to work on communication usually I chicken out when I try to bring things like this up.

  • "give back rubs, foot rubs," "recently doing his nails for him"

    What is this guy a fagg or something lol. I never asked for back and foot rub to my girlfriend, and even less to do my nails.

    Honestly I'm impressed at everything you do for him. You seem to be a keeper.

    I don't know what he brings to the table, maybe it's already equal but if this is not how you feel you should talk about it with him.

    The sooner the better.

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    • Thanks yeah it does sound a little silly, but I guess it's just a very gender role kind of relationship, because he takes care of a lot he just likes to be taken care of

    • "it's just a very gender role kind of relationship,"
      Yeah... so a perfect relationship :)

    • Yeah lol I guess, I don't think it's for everyone but I don't mind not being in charge all the time it is less stress for me :)

  • You moved to fast. You took a round guy and shoved him in a square hole. Dump him and keep shopping. Trying to fix something that you crapped out is hard to do.

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    • I'm interested, why do you think I'm better off moving on, you don't think there is any potential because I took things fast?

    • You can never recover from the slide of taking you soon for granted. If his efforts are half assed then he sees you like a nag which will only grow. You will be demanding things of him and he is not desinged to give from the heart. You are looking for marriage and for so many men that is a nasty trap that the boys will walk away from fast. You sound like a very nice woman but once women lock in on a guy there is nothing a girl will see that will piss her off.

    • I don't really feel like he half asses rather he tries to see what he can get away with, he has even told me I'm pretty reasonable. And even though he is a great man there are times he does piss me off and I let him know. But who knows

  • It's great that you ARE being caring , from my observations there aren't many 20 something ladies that are givers... more are just takers & complainers , they know they have a vast man buffet to choose from , so can be a bit conceited. Just don't be a doormat & keep your standards without turning into a nagging ball buster , he will respect you & see you as a keeper... he is a lucky guy to have you.

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    • Thanks , yeah I know I'm pretty different for my age , Im just not very interested in the "man buffet" lol (he is a good man and really what I was looking for) I want to keep what I have. But like you said I'm for sure gonna make sure he understands that I'm not a door mat , and I'm not going to nag him lol.

  • guess u are... equality's better anyway in my opinion :)

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  • Doing his nails? What? Anyways if you Feel like you're doing too much, then back off and do less. Talk to him about it if you like

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    • Yes like clipping them for him lol, thanks for your opinion I'm sure talking to him about is the best way to know.

    • Seriously lol? How old is this guy? I thought girls hated feet

    • He is 22 lol I am trying to get in the medical career so most body parts don't bother me lol.

  • Remember that a relationship involves two people. Either pull away from the chores or talk it out with him. i wouldn't over think this too much

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  • why don't you try turning the stuff you do down a little bit and see what his reaction is. If he doesn't care then you were just doing extra stuff he didn't expect from you. If he's mad tell him that you still did more than him.

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    • Yeah tried that last night , he cares lol but I think I'm going to start getting him to do it for me too. Lol

    • lulz the footrub train coming to the station

  • He's one lucky bastard xD (No offence)
    I think you do more than 99% girls in your age so you should be fine but when you have any doubts have a serious talk with your boyfriend and remember to be 100% honest.

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  • he is old enough to do his nails and feet

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  • "doing his nails"? Is he gay?

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  • Give him a blow job

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