What the hell is with this idea about looking desperate?

I've seen way too many girls think that doing anything remotely initiative looks desperate. What the hell? Some guys even say that they look desperate if a girl compliments them. That is just fucking stupid, I'm sorry.

Girls, you can compliment guys and make the first move. Showing interest does NOT equal showing desperation.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it stems from fear and a certain lack of self confidence. i completely agree that showing interest is not the same as giving everything away and being a girl that is consistently begging a man for x y and z. I'm not much older than you are but I think and hope that age plays a factor and as people grow and become more confident in themselves that that desperate tendency diminishes.

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What Girls Said 7

  • I totally agree!

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  • People just mis-use the word. They think anything makes them look desperate.

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  • Yeah. Easier said than done, but you just gotta suck it up and take chances. If a guy wants you, he won't mind if you approach first (much I guess) or will pursue you to the ends of the earth.

    Too bad there isn't a radar for such things

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  • It's just anxiety talking. They worry about what others might wrongly perceive. They'd invested too much in what other people are saying rather than making up their minds themselves.

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  • THANK YOU. Seriously this mentality makes me scared to ever approach a guy or even flirt with existing guy friends.

    The guy I like now flirts with me so much and I can't even reciprocate. It's seriously so annoying!!!

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  • "its a common excuse women use to avoid having to go after what they want in life. Like most members of the human species, a good number of women would rather wait and let things come to them versus risk rejection"

    Do you know how hard it was to just sit and wait for that guy to approach you? No, you don't. You people don't understand why we do what we do and you keep judging. Why don't we? Why should we is the question. Why should we approach you?

    I'm not saying we shouldn't approach you first, that it's not okay to compliment and show interest first. We would and we can if we want. It just pissed me off that people here keep on whining why we just wait for guys to approach us. Its our choice. What's wrong with that? Wtf is wrong with that? In the first place it is you who want something from us!

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  • I agree with you, it's stupid.

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What Guys Said 3

  • www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1356742-why-should-i-we-approach-you-girls

    Like @Watermelonoma said, "it's a common excuse women use to avoid having to go after what they want in life. Like most members of the human species, a good number of women would rather wait and let things come to them versus risk rejection" Most of these girls are just self-entitled/arrogant these days (it's as simple as that).

    They want to have their "cake" on top of eating to.. meaning that not only do they want __ to approach them, they want it done in their way (flattery). Oh yeah, not only that, but 90% of the time they don't even take the pressure off of the approachee. i1127.photobucket.com/.../...f.com-add-text_15.gif

    Nope, they just sit there, look cute, laugh and guess what? By society standards, they can get away with it and it's also no sweat off of their backs because they're not the 1 getting rejected. I mean Think about that for a moment, They get the potential REWARDS without taking any of the potential RISKS of obtaining _ themselves, right? (Best of both worlds) WHICH WHY THEY NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT IT nor come out of their comfort zones. I wonder why that is though? (sarcasm)

    Because they know just like I do that even if I didn't approach them some other guy would THUS allowing them to still to sit up on their virtual high horses without a care in the world. They'll use every excuse in the book to not throw themselves to the wolves (put their neck on the line) ya know getting their feelings hurt via being "rejected". "OMG, I wouldn't know what to say" or "I'm shy-socially awkward so I might stutter/panic and creep him out" Umm.. couldn't those very same things happen to a guy and commonly does? But he's told to MAN UP, RIGHT? Yet If he was a girl no one would bats an eye #DoubleStandard.

    Now that I think about it, I barely ever see any girl return a compliment to a guy after he has shot her 1. It's usually only the guy who is boosting her ego LOL.

    Here's some #FoodForThought Whatever happened to the infamous "WOMEN 1st" line? The only seems to apply for the good/non-risked things in life like when they're at a party and the food is about to be served, bus stop, they'll get the 1st dibs on the chairs in a gym (example), lifeboats when a ship is sinking etc you see where I'm going with this. Now here's my question " why in the hell don't they APPROACH 1st also then?" I mean ladies 1st, right? Or is that a BS line that they use to get what they want the easy way? LOL

    #RambleOver

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  • It's just an excuse to not approach, especially when it's common sense that most guys would like to see a girl approaching them.

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  • its a common excuse women use to avoid having to go after what they want in life. Like most members of the human species, a good number of women would rather wait and let things come to them versus risk rejection

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