Girls, how would you feel or what would you do if the guy you're dating always tells you negative things in his life?

I have been dating this guy for almost 5 months already. We rarely see each other due to our busy schedules and because we are cities apart. He's very busy because he works in a hospital. I never complained because I'm not yet his girlfriend and I understand it.
But the problem is, everytime we talk on the phone or text, all he talks about is his illness and whatever sickness he has. He always tells me he's tired and his mood often changes from not-so-good to I'm-not-in-the-mood-I'm-tired-let's-talk-tomorrow mood. He sometimes asks me to tell him stories or anything that happened in my day but it seems like he's not paying attention.
I don't know what to do. I like him and I think I already am falling for him. I don't want to put all the time and efforts we both invested to each other for 5 months but with this, I don't know how to handle it anymore. As someone who always feels bad, sad, miserable, and whatnot, I can't stand to hear same things from someone I expect to be the cause of my happiness.
I need your advice... thank you.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I personally like to keep my feelings to myself. Though I wouldn't mind if others want to talk to me about their problems if they actually have some legit problems. It's good to have someone to talk to, but I've met some really immature people who keep complaining and make themselves feel really bad for no reason.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Don't do it, if you can not handle it now you can not handle it later. If he is not making the most of life then he may not make the most of you.

    I dated a guy who was always down on his luck, it drove me insane and I feel guilty for feeling that way and ended up forgetting to live my life to make his happy for him.

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    • Whoa, didn't see that. Thanks for sharing.

  • I'm just gonna tell you from experience, it's draining...

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    • What do you mean?

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    • Aw alright I get it. A man doesn't seek advice from his woman.

    • He can lol no problem in doing so but from my experience it was just a tough spot to be in. It's like they're looking for you to be their source of happiness and that's a lot of pressure.

  • Just be there for him. But if it gets to much for you, tell him in kindest way possible.

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    • Yep, I'm trying. Thank you! :)

  • I wouldn't date a guy like that, he's self centered.

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    • You think so? Thank you for answering. :)

  • Honestly when it comes to guys I like I think I have a bit of a rescuer personality; like I don't want him to be unhappy but I do kind of love feeling like he needs me; and helping to make him feel better and offering him comfort when he's sad or not feeling well.

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    • Ofc, it feels good knowing someone seeks comfort from you but if it happens all the time...

    • Honestly the last guy I was really into suffered from depression so it was quite a lot of the time at some points.. But he should definitely support you too. This guy who I liked always cared about my issues too even when he was going through really hard times.

    • It's good because he shows you that he also cares about you. :<

  • If you are having that much difficulty now imagine a year or more from now, you are already at wits end over an issue that seems isn't going away. I think you should reevaluate the relationship and your priorities. My only advice is to talk to him about it and share your feelings. If you can't do that, what do you really have with this man?

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    • Sounds difficult but this is really helpful. Thank you so much! :)

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    • Hope so. Thank you again! :) :) :)

    • Hope things are going well for you! :)

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