Why the double standard?

My boyfriend and I have been going out 4 years. He is 28 and I'm 24 whenever we see his family. His mom step DSD and two brothers. Hus one brother who is 26 constantly rags on him and it pisses me the heck off. I told my boyfriend that it really bothers me that he basically allows himself to get insulted. Well the one time we were over there and I obviously very jokingly said something busting on my boyfriend and his mom got all pissy saying it bothered her. I was like are you serious Andrews brother says rude hurtful things all the time that is obviously not a playful loving joke but his own girlfriend makes an obvious playful joke and its not OK for me? I didn't say that in front of his mom but I made sure to voice my opinion about it to my boyfriend in the car on the way home. He agreed with me and said his brother has always been a dick to him and he knows deep down he has to stand up for himself. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • She loves her sons, even when they act like bullies to each other. She may even favor the bully over your boyfriend. You however are an outsider, so you aren't loved or given the protection of saying mean things about her sons, even if it is the son she cares least about.

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    • But I'm not an outsider to her son that I have been with for 4 years. She should realize thatbhenis taking it fine and jokes back with me so obviously he doesn't mind that's my point. The person I am joking with I have established that relationship with him. Its not like I been dating. him 4 months its been 4 years. I see his family every week after 4 years I shouldn't still be considered an outsider.

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    • I get that I'm an outsider to them. I completely understand that. But my boyfriend and I are not an outsider to each other and she should realize that and not take light hearted joking seriously. You are right that she seems like she will. never accept me as family

    • If she puts up with bullying of one of her sons then I suspect she favors the bully over your boyfriend. Parents pick favorites all the time, and those favorites often get smug and torment the children that aren't favored.

What Guys Said 5

  • is his mom opinion about yerself good or bad? u said u were afraid of her...

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    • Its hard to tell sometimes I think she likes me?

  • Because you're not family and you haven't established that social dynamic within their family.

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    • Well he sees me as family so I'm joking wjth someone that I am family with its not like km joking around with his brother its my own boyfriend we been together 4 years
      Long enough to establish that relationship with each other Lol. His brother is obviously just being an ass to him. I am doing it in a loving way in a playful way. After being around his FAM for 4 years you think they would know that is just the way we joke and im obvs being playful

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    • Besides he is 28 not 8 his mom doesn't need to butt into his relationships

    • What should and should not be isn't really the issue.
      If you want someone to just agree with you, sure, it shouldn't be that way. Doesn't really change much though.

  • Tell him to see a doctor and get a prescription for a pill called man-the-fuck-up.

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    • Haha that's a good one!! I talked to him countless times about how I hate the way his brother treats him and he says he is aware he needs to grow a pair and say something. I like the way you put it better haha.

    • ;) my pleasure darling.

  • Help him out!

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    • No lie I'm seriously about to be like look knock it off with then rude comments about my boyfriend the next time his brother starts

  • Too long to read

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What Girls Said 2

  • That's just not right.

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  • that's just how people are...

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