Girls, Is it a bad Idea to have sex on the first date?

I'm not talking about the risk of disease or the chance of a baby, but emotionally?

Updates:
Here's a little update on what has happened. As you might have guessed we did sleep together on the first date and In my honest opinion, I think that had the next set of events not happened sleeping with someone on the first date is a bad idea. She happend to get sick with the stomach flu and the next day I went over to to hangout and see if she needed anything. I just spend the last two days with this girl and it was probably one of the best times i've had in a while.
We talked about how we were probably going too fast, but we both feel so comfortable with each other. I like everything about her. The way she teases me, the way she holds me. I love the way her eyes pierce though my like she know exactly what I'm thinking. I'm totally a nerd, So I love it when she points out the nerdy things or the say quick facts that most people wouldn't pay attention to. I never fell like I need to be a different person around her.

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Most Helpful Girl

What Girls Said 16

  • If you're dating casually, then who cares? If you're looking for a serious relationship, then having sex that early could stunt it.

    Sex creates a feeling of closeness. If you've spent time building up a strong emotional bond with someone else, then sex can strengthen that bond and lead to a stronger relationship. If you have sex before building that bond, it creates a false sense of closeness and kind of a hollow relationship.

    If you liken it to building a house, then building your relationship first is like laying down a foundation and structural support. Once you're sure that the house will stand on its own, you can finish building it, customize it, add or subtract what you want and rest assured that it will remain standing at the end of it all.

    Having sex too early is like immediately putting up four walls and a roof. Sure, it may LOOK like a house, but there's no foundation or structural integrity and it's much more likely to collapse if you try... changing anything. Is it possible to go back later and lay down a foundation? Sure. But it will be much, much more difficult, and it's very tempting to just leave it as it is (or abandon it when it becomes too difficult). I mean it LOOKS like a house, at least from the outside; so why change it?

    It's your relationship, so you can do what you want. I've done it both ways before, and waiting and building the relationship and the sexual tension first definitely always led to a more fulfilling relationship.

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  • I've always thought it was a big no no to have sex on the first date. I would like to things slow and steady. I think that's the best way to deal with things.

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  • Yes. You should wait until you've known them a while if you're worried about emotional problems

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  • Hmm, I don't know. My (now) boyfriend and I did that, now we're in a relationship.

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  • I've done it before and things worked out pretty well after that. I wouldn't say it's such a bad idea

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  • I don't think it's right

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  • Especially for the woman.

    But do what you want.

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  • I think not because you might get your heart broken if the person u slept with is a jerk but its up to you

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  • I think it could be. I know for me it would be too much/too quick

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  • If girl wants to why not I think it's just fine

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  • If you want it and the girl wants it as well, that's fine. But I think it's much pleasuring when you know the person for longer and when you hang out with her/him more than once

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  • Depends. It's usually not the best idea. But if you've known each other for a long time before you started dating and you trust the guy, I don't think it's a big deal. Every circumstance is different! Sometimes dating is primarily about getting sex and as long as both people are in agreement and both are honest with each other, that's okay too.

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  • YES. Lol. Most people lose interest because he/she was so easy. If you want a long term relationship yes.

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  • Personally I wouldn't because I like to have a connection with someone first and know that they respect me
    But each to their own

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  • I think yes! I have attachment issues. So if I had sex on the first date I assume there must be something special. If there isn't and it's just sex I'd end up heart broken

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  • This is a hard thing to answer. It all depends on the girl. Although I know plenty of guys like that get attached too but it's for sure mostly girls get attached easily after sex. If she initiates it and you don't think you are interested in her more than friends then don't do it. If you however do like her and do plan on seeing her again and she seems to want it then it's her own prerogative if she wants to have sex on the first date. However, if you see her get hesitant at all I would say don't do it and you can back off without leaving her rejected. I know it's hard once a guy gets going but trust me it's better backing off.

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