Girls, is depression such a huge deal breaker?

Hello,
About a month ago, I randomly met this beautiful girl at the university, helping her with her notes which she dropped. I kinda flirted with her then, and got her number.

Went on a few dates, which were actually awesome, we really had a great chemistry. I could talk with a girl about some heavy subjects, such as Germany's new "ecological measures" which are, in short, the comeback at the exploitation of centenarians coal mines and the shutdown of all nuclear power plants before 2020 or something. Whatever, a week ago she began speaking a lot more about herself ; for example a book she's been writing for a year, or others personal things. Touched, I wanted to do the same, so did I. I'm not someone who shall speak easily about himself, but I felt confident this time. Spoke about my own depression, and how I've been feeling a lot better since 2 months or something. It was hard for me. Well then, the thing is that this morning I got this text saying that we should be "just" friends. I'm actually really sad, but I want to understand what went through her hear, so here I am. Thanks for your future answers and sorry for my English , it isn't my mother's tongue


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Depression is a turn off when you show it off. No one wants to be around someone who doesn't show self esteem, strenght, will to do things in life or interest in subjects and all that stuff. You, my friend, although depressed, don't seem like this kind of guy. What matters is what you showed her about you, and it seems like it was interesting to her. So what difference does it make that deep inside you have those issues? So many people have them. In my opinion, this girl has some other motives and the only way you're going to know them, is by asking. It's legitimate and she will probably give you an honest answer, so go for it, find out what happened. Good luck!

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    • Well that's what I asked this morning, and she just answered me. She's speaking to say nothing, not answering my question.. Not sure if she herself knows the answer.

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    • You are what you are. Some people don't like too sensitive, some people do... Wish you the best ;)

    • You too ;)

What Girls Said 3

  • Yeah it is. I think you shouldn't say too much if you knew her only a short time.

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    • So should I have keep on not telling a thing about myself while she was opening herself to me? Doesn't seem right.

    • Well she was opening up to you but she judged you for it. I think she was hoping to date you but that is out of the question now.

    • Yeah, obviously. Thanks tho

  • No it's not. I have depression a lot.

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  • Are you sure that's what made her change her mind about wanting to go out with you and not something else?

    For me it wouldn't be, especially since your mental health has been getting so much better. I would want to be supportive. But then I'm not sure if I'm the norm, I mean a guy has tried to self harm in front of me before and I still had a crush on him, so..

    Still I think it would be more of a dealbreaker if you were currently going through a really bad period, and it would also depend on what form it took like I know some people when they are depressed tend to lash out at others around them, or they just can't motivate themselves to get out of bed some days, which for some people obviously is going to be very difficult to deal with

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    • I don't like the term "norm", it's like putting yourself a label you know? We're all different and that's what make us so interesting, all in our own ways.

      Anyway, I tried asking her if there was another reason, so I could at least understand, she's being evasive & vague in her answers, saying she understands if I hate her,..,.
      Don't really know what to think.

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    • if you continue you're going to make me blush ahaha.
      Thanks ;)

    • Aww well probably that would be cute ^_^

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