Why is he being so unfriendly if he's the one who wanted to be friends?

Few months ago I started seeing a guy I was friends with before. We always had crazy chemistry and connection and liked each other even before. When we were seeing each other everything was perfect, we seemed to be on the same page, we both really liked each other and made each other happy. After few weeks, I left for a holiday so I didn't see him for 2 weeks and when I came back he dumped me as if I meant nothing, saying things such as "I never wanted to be with you in the first place" etc. for which I'm sure isn't true. Even after, he kept being the biggest asshole, when I tried talking to him, he literally said how he never gave a shit about me and still doesn't etc., which is not like him and I know is not true. Even when we used to date he would always say "no matter what happens i will always care/promise me i won't lose you even if things go wrong" etc. His behaviour towards me changed for 100% literally out of nowhere. After two weeks though, he came around apologizing and asking if we can be friends, but I said no, so we kept having "a cold war" between us (we go to same college + same group of friends), but he kept telling my friends how he wishes we could be friends. However, the tension and awkwardness started being ridiculous so after awhile I messaged him saying I want to be okay again because after all I still care about him. He agreed with me, although he was still kinda a dick about it. Now we are supposed to be "okay", but he still acts super awkward and I don't get why. It's hard for me to be normal because I still have feelings for him but I'm putting in effort not to act awkward, while he supposedly doesn't care but is acting twice more awkward as I do when he sees me. He also tends to be really cold, barely saying a word to me, sometimes he barely says hi or does it in an unfriendly way. I'm really confused, this is what he wanted so why is he being like this? I've never done anything wrong to him.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it was a pretty big issue in the first place, whatever it was that caused him to dump you and be an asshole about it. After that it's gonna be hard to get back to normal because you've got no idea what it was about. The thing is, it's him with the problem. Personally I'd just say fuck it, this person I was close with turned out to be a weirdo, I'm not gonna bother with them anymore. I'd draw a line under it and ignore them, even if we do share the same friends. I'd probably tell them what happened from my perspective as well, that lets them know what a dickhead he's been and prevents him from trying to steal your friends (in retaliation for ignoring him.) You've got to have a game plan for dealing with assholes. It might be a bit hard-nosed for you. But with the benefit of age and experience, this is the path I would choose.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Really strange and bad situation. If he ever wanted to be with you something made him break up and act like this maybe you push you away and now he doesn't want to get closer to you again (even as friends). What made him do it? I don't know. Of course I'm not sure if this is what really happened.

    According to the situation, I think you should let this go. You did nothing, according to his behavior he doesn't want to change and I don't think this is gonna get better. Try to move on from it and leave him with his own decisions and consequences.

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  • , maybe he actually wanted.. sth more than friends? ;)

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    • my friend suggested the same that he might still like me, but he's the one who ended it and kept pushing me away so I don't know how that makes sense...

  • I have a feeling if he is trying to alienate you away from him, then he's essentially planning on just not relating with you at all, sorry.

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    • yeah that makes sense, but he was the one who kept insisting he wants to be friends..

What Girls Said 1

  • just walk away then.

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