How does an INTJ speed up the dating process?

So part of my personality, and I didn't realize I was doing this untill I learned this about myself, I filter out girls very rapidly and only leave myself options that I think will go somewhere. I believe I'm meant for greatness so it's sort of in my personality to hold high standards in a lot of what I do. I want to ask, are there any other intjs that have this problem? Any solutions other than waiting?

Updates:
Meant to be annonymous.
I'm not looking for someone really smart or perfect, just someone who I feel holds similarly high standards especially moral and ethical standards. Just to give an idea.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am INTP while I applaud your logic I think life cannot be figured out in algorithims.

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    • You hit very close to home with this, I have an algorithm for several things and it's almost a hobby to just think on things and break down everything, even people's personalities. I'll keep this in mind.

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    • @mrf284212
      Sorry for late response, I do independent research and come up with some of my own social theories. The amount of info I could share, is a lot. Fortunately I love to teach, and while I could share all I know, I would like you to know its not just written down somewhere that I could link you to. I could private message you, now that I think about it, my main concern why I wanted to be anonymous never came up. I have no problem if you want me to.

    • @Asker I don't mind reading what you've researched, if you want to message me. I don't want you to have to feel you need to waste your time on me either though. Like I don't want you to go through too much trouble just to satisfy my curiousity. I'd be thankful if you did, but only if it's not out of your way or take you too much time and energy. So the choice is yours with how much time you want to spend. Thanks for the reply.

What Girls Said 5

  • I'm an ISFJ, so obviously we're not the same type but I guess maybe I can give you some advice.

    You do say you have high standards which is in keeping with an INTJ personality, so maybe try lowering them a little. Your girl doesn't need to be perfect and no relationship ever will be either, so you should be more flexible and more willing to accommodate imperfection. A good thing to do is make a list. Five absolute deal breakers. You can skip girls based on these conditions and they should be the most important things for you (e. g. wanting kids, wanting to get married) and you should stick to these things. If these are the only things you allow yourself to reject girls on, then you might find yourself opening up your dating pool and finding more partners.

    INTJs typically keep a lot of their emotions internalised, so definitely try to be warmer and open up more to the girls you manage to date. As you're an introvert, you're more likely to meet people you enjoy being around through shared hobbies, so maybe even try online dating where you can match your profile to theirs, rather than trying to meet someone in person.

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    • While I'm wary about lowering my standards, I feel like your method would be best. I would like to ask you what dating site you would promote over the others?

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    • I really liked your opinion could you possibly enlighten me with my INFP result? I am similar to him as I have high standards, but do lower them but end up not being happy. I'm abit of an introvert as well?

    • Of course! As you said, you do share high standards like OP because INXX personality types do tend to be idealists and they do strive to meet their high standards. INFPs characteristically have a hard time accepting criticism or conflict, so I'd recommend that you work on being more open to this as that's definitely going to help you maintain long-lasting relationships. INFPs also may have difficulty in committing themselves to relationships as their perfection seeking tendencies drives them to find problems that they could possibly avoid by not committing. INFPs might be cautious and may not always be open straightaway so obviously, working on expressing your emotions and making your affection clear might be useful. The issue with the INFP type is that you feel emotions very intensely but don't express them but being able to do this would bring you and your partner closer together. Obviously, MBTI personality isn't perfect and it isn't personalised to you, but I hope this helps!

  • Have you met someone who meets your standards?

    Yes, that's what I meant.

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  • I'm not one but @theintj might fill you about that 😊 .

    Basically your first prequisite for her is high I. q., right?

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    • I address this in an update =)

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    • Sorry. I'll post my own. X)

    • Asker... Is your type... Someone that is an engineer, ivy league education, world traveller, middle classed to rich family background?

  • The only other solution than waiting is to settle. I am an INTJ myself, so I understand your struggle. I refuse to settle.

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  • no other solutions.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Lol, shit I do this too. My standards are so high they can only be seen from mount everest.

    My only solution would be to pursue girls that meet your standards.

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  • Nice I got INFP. I too hold myself with high standards although I can slip sometimes and lower them depending on how desperate I am

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  • This shit isn't rocket science, get your ass out the door and talk to women. Problem solved.

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