Girls, be honest, would you rather not date a guy who was in the military?

Would you rather not deal with him being gone for long periods on deployment, or worry about him being harmed or coming home with post traumatic stress?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Former military myself here, and I would date a guy who is in the military or is former military. In fact, I prefer it. While some women may get hot and bothered by a military men, not many men are that turned on by military women because they think we're all butch. Some of us are, but then you have others (like me) who love to put on a pair of high heeled shoes at the end of the day.

    My opinion is that some women don't want to deal with the added stress of deployments, PTSD and such along with complications that already come with relationships. These women have their reasons for not getting involved however, don't let it get you down. If she's the right woman, the uniform and the lifestyle that comes with it won't bother her.

    By the way, if the man in question is you, thank you for your service :)

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What Girls Said 19

  • I wouldn't. I couldn't deal with not knowing if he was safe or not and not being able to be with him for long periods of time and all the moving around. Military spouses and partners are brave and put up with so much.

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  • I would date him. No problem with that. Love is caring, taking care, understanding, etc, the good, the bad, etc. That's love.

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  • Well yes and no, my boyfriend is Navy and I didn't know that when we went on our first few dates, so when I did find out while I was worried I didn't want to up and leave him since he is a pretty awesome guy. But when he renlisted I did get a little scared, he says with what he is doing he won't get deployed or have to move, but it's always in the back of my mind. So no I don't purposely look for military guys because I know I will worry, but I wouldn't not date a great guy because he was. Hope that helps.

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    • Outside of construction battalions and security units, it's very rare for the Navy to send a person to the middle east. Depending on his job in the Navy, it's pretty rare that he would be sent to a danger zone if he were to deploy. When sailors deploy, we usually just spend several months out at sea.

    • @navychick2006 Thanks I feel better hearing that from someone who doesn't know us and I know isn't just trying to get me to relax, but someone who is simply telling the facts.

  • I don't mind if a guy is military. I'm okay with the time he will have to be away. I can wait. Yes, I will worry. If he has PTSD or is injured, I'll deal with it. A strong woman supports and stands by her man, no matter what.

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  • I wouldn't prefer a guy who was in the army because I'd have to be worrying about what happens to him over seas and would not see him more than actually seeing him. I'm the kind of person that believes that a relationship and start to deteriorate if there isn't any interaction or time spent together for an extended amount of time. But I also believe that if I really did love him then I'd make it work. If he was the love of my life then I'd try to make it work.

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  • If I liked him and I thought he was religious enough for me then yes I would marry him (as I don't date)

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  • I'm really a person who thinks is important to see eachother regularly. That's also why I don't do long-distance.. so no I wouldn't date him. I also don't really like the profession tbh.

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    • Why don't you like the profession?

    • Well first, you don't need any sort of education to be a soldier (normal soldier, not F16 pilot) and since I link intelligence to education, I doubt it that the guy is intelligent (it's not about the money, really just intelligence).
      I could never understand why someone wants to be a soldier. Maybe it's because I'm not patriotic at all (the Netherlands is overall not very patriotic). Especially if you're actually intelligent.

  • I'd prefer not to date someone who's job was primarily to kill and dominate other people. It's not my bag baby.

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  • I'd rather not. sorry. I feel like it would complicate things, and I wouldn't be able to bear the thought of losing him.

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  • I wouldn't because of all those reasons. Basically I'd probably slowly lose feelings for him due to him not being around very often to attract me physically and emotionally.

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  • No, I always keep my first aid box near me so no problem..

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  • I'm in an LDR now, so I could definitely deal with the distance if my guy were in the military (the longest we've gone without seeing each other was 9 months). And, as an answerer below said, love means you support your S/O no matter what. I could never stop loving my boyfriend, regardless of his profession.

    What I couldn't deal with was knowing that at any moment he could be killed. If we had kids, I would live in constant fear that one day we'd get that phone call telling us he wasn't coming back; our kids would have to grow up without a father and probably without having had adequate time with him. Sure, he'd be setting a good example by serving his country, and I would be incredibly proud of him. But I would have to insist that he retire from the military once we marry; that way he would've served well for several years and then come home where he could be safe and be there for his family.

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  • Personally I could never be a military girlfriend or wife. All the worry and long periods away. Im a needy girl so that wouldn't work for me.

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  • I would but, I just end up spending some time with them when they come back from deployment.

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  • I can honestly say I would rather have my boyfriend at home with me

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  • If she really trully loves you nothing would matter

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  • If I was given two of the same guy and one was in the army and one was not, I would choose the one who was not in the army.
    That means they'd be gone long period at a time, they'd probably have a different mindset from being yelled at and woken up early and having to think of everyone as a brother. I think that would change a person.
    Then there's the chance he could die in combat or just have ptsd. I want a family, I cannot be with a person like that, I don't want to lose my soulmate and I don't want our children living without their dad because he's in a war or dead.

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  • I would not date a guy who was in the military. I would be always worried about him and he could become aggressive.

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  • I would rather not.

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