He (21) likes me (20F), but I'm not sure if I like him as much. Should we date?

My first relationship ended a few months ago, and it ended because of understandable circumstances but still hurt. He was my first love and the first time I felt such a real connection with someone, but I understand that I'm young, and I'm going to find love again, so I've been moving on.

The new guy is a friend of mine who I get the vibe likes me a lot and wants to be more than a friend. He's a nice guy and I have fun with him. We get along great and we laugh together. We haven't kissed or anything yet (he's a bit inexperienced and I've grown wary of hookups) but there's tension and flirting - it's always been that way since I met him, just now I feel it more accutely. So far we've been hanging out, and each one has become subsequently more date-y (dinner instead of lunch, watching the sunset, wanting to pay for my movie ticket, etc.)

But I'm not feeling the same spark as I did with my ex boyfriend. I feel like my ex ruined things for me because we just got each other, and that type of synchronization takes a rare "click" and/or time and effort. I ache for closeness but I know it doesn't happen fast with some people, and that everyone is different.

I'm not sure if I want to get into a relationship beyond the one we have now because I'm scared I don't like him as much as he likes me. Am I expecting too much and should I give it a shot? After all, I'm attracted to him and he makes me laugh and I like being in his company. Or should I let him go and revert to how we were when I wasn't single? I don't want him to get hurt if he starts liking me even more, and what if I just can't reciprocate?

Am I putting too much pressure on myself (and is he, unintentionally?) I don't date people unless I'm sure about them, usually. This is different from casual dating or hookups (I'm sick of the latter and he's not the guy for the former.) Thanks!


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What Guys Said 1

  • u should give it a shot... he is single isn't he?

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    • Yeah, he is. I guess I'm just scared... what if I break his heart? Or decide that it doesn't work? Would I be jerking him around?

    • then apologize if that happens

What Girls Said 1

  • if you like him, go for it.

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    • That's the thing, I'm not really sure if I do other than liking being around him, which is almost the same as being just friends with him plus flirting, you know? I just feel like the balance is a little unequal since he likes me more.

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