Is she trying to protect herself?

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Is she trying to protect herself?

ABOVE IMAGE is her text convo with me as to what we were looking for out of this whole thing)

Well, I am in a little bit of a dilema and require a little bit of both blunt honesty and or advice. So I met this girl and we have been on 2 dates so far, but they were long dates and pretty much all talking, id say 4 hours chatting on our first date and like 5-6 hours of hanging out and chatting on our second date. Well we have a rough framework laid for our 3rd date, but already I am having some doubts or anxious thoughts/insecurities as to whether I can keep it going. (Which to be honest, has me a little worried as I am usually never like this)

She expressed to me that isn't looking to jump into anything super serious, but rather date, have some fun, get out, be social and expereince some new things. She also told me she's looking to sort of reset her social circle, this all seems to be stemming from a LTR that she ended a couple of months ago. I just broke up with a girl I was dating for 6 months a couple weeks ago and am looking to get back into the dating scene and if a relationship blooms, hey lets give it a shot. I am just curious if she put out that "ive sworn off serious relationships for a while" as a sort of defense mechanism for herself, because of her last relationship. And that she doesn't want to be hurt or anything. We have been on 2 great dates (yea, I know its only been 2) and this seems like something that could become something much more than something casual. And I to be honest have never casually dated someone, so I dont know if I am incapable of staying my feelings if they were to develop. I feel like im going to dive into this on our third date to see if we can lay out some specifics, such as exclusivity (dont know how common that is in casual dating), and a what if, in the case that feelings were to emerge, what would we do?

Im just looking for some honest advice here, never been in a casual scenario, and not sure if her warnings of current non-comittment were serious, or that she's just trying to not get hurt again and is being protective. I've asked friends and read around and it seems that any time you get into these fling scenarios, things like that tend to evolve. Id love to date someone, but not sure if im capable of keeping it casual.

Thanks and let me know if I need to clarify things, just in one of those late night rambling thought modes.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She is politely telling you about a "wall" she has built to keep "safe". She mentioned things go bad when she puts the person first. I'm assuming because it was a one sided love and she was the one loving. She is being open and honest with you, starting with this info to "cut the crap" and see what you want. Do I suggest saying telling her you want a serious relationship, no. But I am saying you can ease your way into one. Tell her you both can be just exclusive, no title. Be patient with her, she sounds like she has been through a rough patch and is just seeking nothing stressful, no drama, and no demands. Most of the time these things sort themselves out into long healthy relationships. I've seen two of my best friends go from friends with benefits to marriage. Only a different friend did it not pan out and it was mutual.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Judgin by her texts it seems she is kinda mean towards u...

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What Girls Said 1

  • Casual means exactly that casual... I'll see ya when I see ya, I'm free to see other people, no exclusivity.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

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