Do the insecurities after being cheated on ever go away?

Everything's really good in my relationship right now with my boyfriend but I'm finding everytime something goes wrong , I shut down and pull away from him. Like I kind of expect the other shoe to drop although the first one hasn't. He doesn't give me reasons not to trust him , but I was cheated on in both of my last two relationships so those insecurities still pop up to bite me on the ass every so often. I really love being with him, he treats me very well but I need to know if these insecurities will ever go away. I don't want to be the one to hurt him because I'm so scared of being hurt again. Help please?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, they do go away.

    I used to watch the show, Kung Fu (I'm a martial artist). Yes, it was a bit silly but now and then they had something genuinely profound. Once Master Kan said "If while building a house, a carpenter strikes a nail and it proves faulty by bending, does the carpenter lose faith in all nails and stop building his house?"

    You cannot afford to let one or two foolish men ruin your dreams. You must realize you are with a new person and go on building your life. Time will give you perspective.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Stop comparing him to your last relationships, for starters. I've been on both sides of that insecurity fence, having both been hesitant due to prior incidents and having someone skittish because of things that happened to them. It's no fun and can be toxic to even the best of relationships. What you NEED to be doing is understand that he is with YOU. And since he hasn't shown any reason to mistrust him, let it go or get out of the relationship and do some soul searching.

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  • Your trust issues will take time to heal but they will probably become bearable at some stage.

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  • With time it goes away.

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What Girls Said 3

  • It's always a thing that you'll worry about, but I think as your relationship goes on you should start to feel more stable.

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  • Try to not avoid him for sure. I think you should maybe tell him about your concerns and if he's the right boyfriend for you, he'll help you through it.

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  • they do eventually.

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