On and off boyfriend keeps bring up stupid shit?

Been with him on and off for 4 years. Needless to say, it is kind of a ritual he has going on. We will be good for months on end and then he will all the sudden bring up the past. Let me tell you a little about it- He left me for another girl in the beginning of our relationship, but the next day regretted it and came back. He cheated (kissed someone) in the beginning of our relationship as well and we worked past it. Two years into our relationship he left me and said we needed a break but HE made me agree that we wouldn't sleep with anyone while being split up. Needless to say, I found out after a week of being at his place visiting that he had been fucking some girl who lived with him and his cousin for about a month. Which meant he had been fucking her since the day after he left our home. I tried seeing someone else and he flipped out. I eventually called shit off with the guy I decided to see because my then ex made me feel horrible about it and kept saying things like "How could you do this to me? I thought you wanted to work things out?" So I waited around for him to decide who he wanted and he eventually chose me. We moved back in together and things were going great. Except he keeps bringing up the past. Mind you, its been over a year since we got back together. But now, we will be fine and then all the sudden he will bring up how I was seeing that guy when he was banging someone else. He blames it entirely on me. Said that I as in the wrong, not him. He even tries saying that I left him for another guy, which clearly is not the case. If anything, he left me for her. He also pipes up with "Who are you talking to?" as soon as I get on my phone. And even if I am speaking to my mother, he will scowl and say "What does she want?". He isn't controlling, dont get me wrong. I am allowed to do whatever I want but he doesn't have a choice otherwise and he knows better than to tell me what to do. But why does he always do this? Guilt? Talking to someone else again?

Updates:
I also want to say that I know he is not physically cheating. Both of us are in college (online) and do everything from home. He rarely ever leaves the house, nor do I. But sometimes we will go outside and he will stay standing with his phone very close to his face for about a minute and then will sit down. I don't know if he is deleting shit off his phone while doing this or not.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Forget him, he's an ass who can't treat you right. He's possessive and if he wants to be with you, set guidelines and make him follow. If he doesn't, you need to find someone who will. It's not ok for him to make you feel like shit like that

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    • If you doubt him like that, there are some serious issues. Without trust you can't have a solid relationship

    • That's so messed up, you shouldn't feel bad because he is lashing out at you, it's not your fault of course. He can't accept that he screwed up and it sounds like he's doing something he shouldn't be and is starting to guilt you into accepting whatever it is when you find out.

What Guys Said 3

  • Given the history between you two it should be crystal clear that he is simply using you. Do yourself a huge favor and cut him off completely like you should have done when he left you for another woman. All you are doing by not cutting him off is inviting more drama and bs into your life and trust me when I say he isn't worth it.

    I know it's going to hurt. But it does not change the fact that you will be far better off without someone like that in your life.

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  • Because you go back rather than kick him to the curb. Who the hell has sex with their own cousin? And you are dating someone like that? Why?

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    • You misread that. He was fucking the girl who was living with him and his cousin.

    • I'd still stand by my statement on "why are you still giving him a third chance"

  • u r not married why do u live together? n u also do sex? that's very bad. a girl has to save her virginity for her husband. who knows u r going to marry him or not. now u r living together, in case he doesn't marry u who is going to marry u? a girl needs to be careful about all these things. and also u have to keep up the prestige of a girl. u should try to control your youth. a girl is like an open treasure. any one can come n take the treasure. so please please n one more time please be careful.

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    • i m stressing on the virginity part because it's going to stretch. imagine on your wedding night, u have sex with your husband n u don't bleed. how would your husband feel? he would either feel he's got a tiny dick or that u have already had sex. a girl has to bleed on her wedding night to prove that she is virgin. it's a male ego n u have to understand it. u can't just have sex on a wedding night without bleeding. even if u don't bleed u have to put some red colour to make it look like blood.

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    • so the answer to your question is: he is sleeping around with multiple girls n u r waiting for him come back to u after he is done fucking all those girls. at the same time u have made a promise that u would not engage yourselves in any other relations to when he broke the promise. u wanted to start a fresh new relation with someone but he comes to u n asks u not to do that. and it was his decision to take a break, not yours. can't u see he has been using u? taking advantage of your love towards him? he looks like an asshole. he doesn't want to lose u but at the same time he cannot keep the commitment. he just want's to keep u like a reserve player in soccer match. he wants to keep u behind the scene so when he is done with all those girls n most probably in future getting hurt by a nasty break up or getting cheated he would still have u to cuddle up n drink his tear. so grow up n find a good boy friend. best of luck.

What Girls Said 2

  • Honestly, leave him for good. He seems mentally and emotionally unstable and you definitely deserve better.

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  • he's talking to someone else.

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