Should I date an Older Woman?

After all the ups and downs in life, I find myself here...29 years old. I split with me ex fiance and the situation surrounding that whole mess equals to me loosing my dog, my car, my place and my career. I moved back into my parent place 7 hours from my former home to start fresh. It has been several months and I still haven't become gainfully employed but working everyday towards that and bettering myself. Recently a Lady, 40 years old, has started to show some interest. We talked, not expecting much to develop and things are going good. We have similar interests, and personality traits. Our humor is similar, our sexual preferences and such are similar and we both have hardships and scars earned from our pasts. In truth I find I am attracted to her not JUST physically but on a more intellectual level then almost anyone else I have seen in the past. Hell, we got into a 3 hour discussion about all the ways you could learn how to sway public opinion and manipulate people from the Nazi party, even pulling out personal memoirs we both had apparently read from the party leaders! (I will admit they are horrible, my grandmother still has that tattoo on her wrist from them, but I refuse to deny the fact that they had impressive management and manipulation skills)

Dating her so far has been amazing. However there is a catch, otherwise I wouldn't be here asking advice or opinions. She is 40 and does not want children. Says she is too old and hasn't given in any real thougt. I want kids... so bad it hurts. I want to change the diapers, to have the tea parties, to play catch, to freak out when they sneak out, to be angry and dissappointed when they mess up. I have wanted it since I was 12 ( I know weird, a guy at 12 already wanting a family) but thats that.

Should I even bother puting in the effort? Should I give up on kids? This is something I have to decide, cause really... and truthfully... in a year or 2 she may not be able to have any regardless of her choice.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Age doesn't matter but you need to be compatible in what you want from life as well as other areas. A friend of mine married a guy who said he never wanted children. She thought he would change his mind and loved everything else about him. But12 years later they got divorced as she badly wanted kids and he didn't. I guess a couple of options you could discuss with her:
    1) freeze some eggs and have a surrogate have the baby
    2) obtain eggs from a donor, ferilize with your sperm, have a surrogate
    3) adopt

    the thing is it might not jist be the physical aspects of having kids that she doesn't want, she may also not want the burden of raising children.

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What Girls Said 1

  • There's nothing wrong with dating an older woman. But if she doesn't want kids and you do, you're incompatible. An older woman might be more open to adopting than a younger one, but could still want kids. There are tons of girls who want kids. Move on unless you can do without kids.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Well, normally I would advise you to date her. But it’s not like just you different tastes in ice cream. Children are a serous issue.

    And you want to change diapers and have tea parties? Dude, there are about a dozen women I know who are looking for you (once you get a job).

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  • you still have time to find another person.

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  • I wouldn't date a forty-year old personally.

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