My boyfriend lied about his age?

My boyfriend originally said that he was 17 years old, about to turn 18, but after a while he came out and said that he is actually 21 year old man, and I am 16 year old girl. I know about the law, yadda yadda, but I am kind of frustrated that he didn't tell me this earlier. Should I forgive him? I love him to death, and he was crying because he loves me too, and didn't want me to leave him for such an unfortunate reason. We don't have sexual contact, we only cuddle and kiss, but my parents don't know. What do I do? I love him and don't want him to go.

Updates:
Please don't be condescending, and don't go blabbering about the law because we haven't had sex for the two years we've been together.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Did he know your age before he told you his fake age? If so, you could give him the benefit of the doubt and guess he just lied because he was afraid you wouldn't wanna have anything to do with him if you knew his real age, and he liked you too much to risk that. From what you've said you've been together for a while, and he never pushed you to have sex, so we can rule out the possibility of him being a pedo who does this to young girls on a regular basis.

    However, please be careful, because there is some truth to the phrase "once a liar, always a liar"... You have to make sure that he is honest from now on, even if it is unpleasant. And I would definitely ask to see his ID to make sure he's not even older than 21...

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    • Exactly, and yes, he did know my age. I have seen his ID. He actually showed it to me for proof. He's not lying. At least he told me before I did something I would regret.

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    • Yeah, I truly believe he does care for me. He's like my angel. He's been there for me when I was depressed and sad, he's such a good person. I believe it. He didn't want age to become between us.

    • And don't forget when this happened (I'm guessing he told you shortly after you started dating) he was still pretty young (19) himself, and we all do stupid things when we are young. And your age gap is not that huge. Once you turn 20, it will be nothing. Good luck to you!

What Guys Said 8

  • on his next birthday you both celebrate the cake is gonna come and have 28 candles on it and he's gonna have a "I fucked up again" look on his face :P

    hahaa seriously though, guys who lie about age aren't worth the fucking time or effort.

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    • I saw his ID. He ain't lying.

  • Well, are you sure he is even 21 ?
    You love the guy but when this happens it makes me
    wonder what other things can he lie about?
    Yes you need to give this second thoughts cause he
    is legally a adult male and your a 16 year old female
    even thou your age of consent this is wrong in many ways.

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  • If he's willing to lie to you, manipulate you about something as basic as that, you'd best be suspicious of his motivations. Your first inclination may be to defend him; you care about him, I've been there, I've seen it in others, but this really is a red flag.

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    • How? Tell me more please.

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    • He doesn't want me for sex though.

    • You tell yourself that now.

      Goes back to what I said before. You care about this person, your natural reflex is going to be to defend them. You need to step back and take a good, hard look at whether you *should* be. Nobody else can do that for you, we can only point out things you need to be considering.

  • Think about what else he could have possibly lied about. I think you need to really consider this whether it's someone you can look past, or enough as a red flag to actually move on.

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  • You have to be careful about him, LOL. By the way, why it has something to do with law?

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    • Because it's illegal for an adult to have sex with a minor.

  • Wait, so you started dating when he was 19 and you were 14?

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    • That is so weird, omg.

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    • It was a common practice back in the day which is why we moved to laws... thay being said, after a 2 year relationship in which he hasn't pushed any further than kissing and cuddling, it's almost safe to assume his intentions were pure and that he did so because he likes you, not to take advantage of you. People say that once a liar always a liar blah blah, but everyone has lied at some point in their life. If he's serious about a relationship with you, he needs to sit down with your parents and explain. You're a minor and that's the way it is.

    • Exactly. He doesn't want me for sex. He loves me.

  • love can conquer all if you allow it

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  • That should be a red flag.

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    • What?

    • That should tell you something is wrong with him.

What Girls Said 8

  • Very sadly this could be the first of many lies.. On the other hand he might well have told many previously.. In my book it's "Once A Liar, Always A Liar".

    Regrettably only you can make the decision what to do.

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    • He only lied once, after two years we've been together... I mean, at least he came out and told me, right?

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    • No he wasn't what?

    • Trying to get with a younger girl.

  • He lied, that sucks. Maybe find out why he lied?

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    • He did it because he didn't want me to turn him down because of his age.

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    • Well then, sweetie, just forgive him but tell him never again lie about anything. But always keep your eyes open and be careful. I can honestly understand why he did it.

      I'm not addressing the obvious part of this as you are aware already of the complications. If he is willing to wait, maybe he is worth keeping around.

    • I will... thank you.

  • he already lied to you at first.. you are still young just be careful

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  • Why lie about your age, it's something that will get found out eventually.

    It doesn't bode well that he lied to a 16 year old girl so he could date her.

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    • I know. But he didn't want to lose me. I was his first girlfriend. He tried to get with other girls but he always failed to.

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    • I don't think the age gap is a big deal personally, to me it's more the issue that he was dumb enough to lie.

    • Yeah... he thought I would dump him if he found out.

  • If he lied about his age, he could've lied about something else. A 19 year old lying to a 14 year old just to date her and revealing the lie 2 years later sounds really fucking weird, to be honest. I would dump him on the spot, personally.

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    • No... he helped me out of depression. I believe that he really cares about me.

  • I'm sure there is more he is lying to you about.

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    • Like?

    • You should ask him. He must have had a few girls before you.

    • No he hasn't. I'm his first girlfriend. He's been trying to get other girls before he dated me, but they all turned him down. They were his age too.

  • Well he knows it isn't "right" that's why he lied about it in the first place. & who knows he's probably lied about other things, if he lied about this. Hope anything works out.

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  • If he can lie about something like age, what else can he lie about? it sounds a bit fishy... it sounds like someone he manipulates young girls for sex... just wait.. soon he will be pushing you to have sex.. i would stay away from that guy if i was you... he is taking advantage of you being young and inexperienced

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    • We've been together for two years and he never pushed me to have sex.

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    • he lied... but what do i know...

    • He's helped me through a lot, just because he's older doesn't mean that he's automatically a bad person you know? I'm just confused as to why he lied.

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