I've had no success with dating in three years feeling discouraged what am I doing wrong?

I've had no success with men over the last four years I've met around 5 guys who I've wanted relationships with and all of them have dumped me after dating for only a few weeks. It seems the moment I want them to commit that's when they dump me or they just lose interest after a few dates. I don't know what I am doing wrong it's causing me anxiety I'm scared I will be alone forever and never have a family. I have many friends that love me and I am super fit, guys tell me I'm good looking all the time. I'm not high maintenance I'm also really nice. I don't get it someone please help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you go on a date once a week I think you should probably wait a little longer before asking for a commitment. Once you get to the 2 to 3 month stage then I don't think they will get too weird. The part about losing interest you can't help. They are just not for you.

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What Guys Said 9

  • After how many dates are you expecting commitment? Are you withholding sex or affection or something until you get that commitment? Are you blowing up their phone?

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    • No, not at all. I usually want comment after about 2 to 3 months but that's when they usually begin to lose some interest.

    • Well... if you're having a normal relationship that becomes sexual and everything happens as you'd expect up until the moment you talk of commitment... either you are having bad luck with a string of commitment-phobic men, or there's something you're doing that you're not even aware of that is sending them running.

  • Don't only date guys you think have attractive looks. That's probably the problem, some women like bad boys and you can easily tell if someone is a commitmentphobic bad boy by just looking at him. Try different looking guys, guys you think are nice as a person but normally would not go out with.

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  • hmmm maybe u don't chase guys?

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  • Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm not going to commit to a life partner until my late thirties. I'm going
    To make sure Im established and world weary before I start a family. If you are talking to guys your age, they may share a similar mentality. I would avoid bringing up commitment and if the relationship lasts, you won't have to bring it up.

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  • we can't guess what's wrong if you don't put a comprehensive description of yourself.

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  • See, it takes time for people to commit. Not everyone is as ready to commit to a single person as quick as you may think.
    My advice would be to not bring it up, just let things happen. As time passes, you'll both see the commitment in each other. :)

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  • if you're only about 27 don't worry about it, eventually you'll find the right person. i am financially, spiritually and in general not ready for a girlfriend myself. i am saving 150usd every month so i can put it into cd's and stocks, i think.

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  • More information is needed… However, the way you said “the moment I want them to commit” suggests you may be pushing guys to commit instead of making them want to commit. You may have also been meeting guys who would not do what you expect them to do when you expect it. You and them may have had different operational models… You may want to reassess the sort of people you are getting into relationships with.

    Whatever I said is of course incomplete and maybe inapplicable altogether.

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  • Increase the number of men you are dating, and see multiple people at a time. Assume the vast majority don't want to commit to you.

    Do that until you and a man agree on exclusivity.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Men are dumbasses

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  • just keep looking!

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  • Did you tell them pre-requirements during your dates? Like long term commitments, marriage or children? Because personally, I think this kind of things scares guys off. Unless the relationship started out from a friendship, it does sound pretty scary when a person want you to commit to a relationship before even knowing you that well.

    But more information is needed, like what do you usually do/tell the guy during dates?

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  • You won't get it until you define what kind of man, are you looking for

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    • What do you mean that I am not looking for the right types?

    • If you walk to the shop, do you know what is the best brand shampoo to get? Or do you buy any generic brand?

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