Mixed signals - why doesn't he want to meet again?

Dated a guy 5 or 6 times. The dates themselves were going well and were developing naturally but he started to become more distant between dates as time went on. He was not long out a serious relationship so I figured he needed more time and I wanted more from him so I begrudgingly finished things saying I needed more, but with the door left open.

He got back in touch a few weeks later but then failed to make arrangements to meet. I then got back in touch with him (couldn't shift him!) And we finally met up again and got on great and made arrangements that night for the next date. On the day of that date, he text saying he genuinely enjoys my company but feels deep down he's still not ready to give me what I want. I responded saying we'd had too many serious chats for what this was, too much pressure. We should meet and just relax and have fun (I was trying to prove I'm not going to make demands on him or need anything serious etc). We met and it was great. He's been in touch sporadically since (mostly him initiating) but made no plans to meet again - its been 3 weeks now. One thing I'm sure of is he is a genuine nice guy, my worry is he's maybe too nice to just be honest and say he's not interested. I realise if a guy likes you, he wants to see you and make an effort to do so... why keep in touch but not arrange to meet again after us continuing to get on so well? As he has a tendancy to freak out, I can't approach any serious conversations with him. He has said a few times he enjoys my company, but why not want to see me? Is it as simple as he likes me... but just not enough?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you are right about him being too nice to flat out say he isn't interested in you. He may be one of those guys more afraid about hurting your feelings than being honest with you about his. At this time, you have said your peace. Saying the door is open is a nice gesture. The ball is in his court, if he wants to pursue, he will.

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What Guys Said 1

  • guess he's afraid of commitment then?

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    • I dont think he's afraid of commitment per se, but definitely doesn't want to rush into anything too quickly and he has the impression that I do want things to move quickly so I think his fear is more that I'll put demands on him. I've done my best through actions to prove that's not the case and so have been giving him space. But I still think its strange he's not approached meeting again after 3 weeks - wouldn't he want to see me or show that kind of interest in me? One or two texts every few days just doesn't give the impression he's that bothered. But if and when we meet up, we have huge chemistry and get on well. I think he's still online dating and maybe enjoying that too much!

    • Y dont u suggest meetin him again then?

What Girls Said 2

  • he's not interested.

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  • Maybe he changed his mind or he is no longer interested or he doesn't know what he wants.

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