Why is it racist to date your own race?

At the park yesterday, a black guy asked me out on a date. He was very come-ony about it, but I politely declined telling him that I only date white guys because that's who I am attracted to. He stood up and spat in my face calling me a racist... why?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Everything is somehow racist with them. you can't do your job without being called racist lmfao.

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    • For real. The left-wing are destroying our nation.

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    • Why is this MHO? wtf...

    • God, the Anonymous and the Asker are idiots... lol.

What Guys Said 21

  • LOL. What is with everyone spitting on everyone know a days.

    Also no its not racist, but I can definitely see why he would feel that way. He most likely felt that way because you discriminated against him based on his skin color, but in the world of dating we all discriminate to a degree.

    We all have preference in dating and it's not uncommon to reject someone if they don't fit that preference. However, you were wrong in telling him you only date white guys, because that's just insulting. I prefer Latina/Black girls, but you'll never catch me telling a pale white girl "Sorry, I don't date pale girls, because I'm more attracted to brown skinned girls." I mean that just comes off as mean and hurtful, no matter how nice I try to say it.

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  • thats not a preference that is actually racist. if it were a preference it would be "i prefer x but i also dont mind z." you however said "i ONLY like x and won't consider anything else regardless of situation."

    he was wrong to spit on you though.

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  • Not racist at all. You are attracted to whoever you're attracted to. He's just mad with the fact he got rejected...

    I'm White and I'm only attracted White girls and I get called "racist" for this all the time, despite the fact most non-white girls would never date White guys, and do they get called racist? 😂
    No, they dont, which is no surprise.

    It's another double standard like "white people can only be racist" bullshit. Whatever happens with me does not change who I'm attracted to. You attracted to what you're attracted to and that is that. You can't help that.

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    • For real. People's logic these days. I bet if I were a black girl asking this question, people would say; "nah, that's fine. it's beautiful you love your culture."...

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    • You are a wise young girl. I see hope in you!

    • I'm black and I've never dated anyone that wasn't black. Not that I wouldn't but none of them have asked me..

  • It's not racist, it's just personal preference. I also dont like dating dark skinned girls but It's not like I dont like them. He probably felt rejected and needed an excuse to cover up.

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  • well it is "racist" because you discriminate people because of their race XD

    having said this, choosing guys you date is totally legitimate and you´re not a bad person for liking white guys... though you have to admit it was pretty dumb to tell a black guy that you don´t date black people since everybody knows racism is a delicate topic.

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  • Its not you should have done something about that guy

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  • You should just told him that you're not interested. No need to tell him it's because of his skin color.

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  • People use the racist card all the time.

    Just forget that pathetic excuse and move on.

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  • No, that's your personal preference.

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  • I don't think you'll be the type of person who will care whether people call it racist or not.

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  • oh that was a dick move on his part. I think you could report him. Also you're not a racist. You would have been if you thought that white people are superior than black people and other races. Attraction is such a subconscious thing that you should never feel guilty about it.

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  • if u respect other races... not bad :)

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  • Well its not racist to say you are only attracted to white guys. I just dont believe you.

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  • I don't think it's racist its not like you said WHITE POWA!! after you said that

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  • He spat in your face. That is assault. When was the last time a white guy did that?

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    • What exactly r u implying?

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    • So r u basically saying that white guys don't spit on ppls faces? I don't wanna make a big deal about ur comment but if it's not clarified then people mite take it the wrong way.

    • Ok so... when was the last time a white guy spit in your face?

  • wait a second , what race are you? Not agreeing with the black guy at all... just curious

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  • Its definitely not the same thing. Saying that you prefer white guys implies that you would still be open to dating other races. Saying you ONLY date white guys means that you literally exclude ALL OTHER races. To some I could see how they would mistake this for racist, but its not. You can't help who you are attracted to. That guy was out of line. I am black , but I don't take things like that to heart.

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  • Really? I can't believe someone would do that, quite shocking.
    Finding your own race and only your own race attractive is not racist. Like how being attracted to women and only women doesn't make me homophobic.
    Racism is when you treat others as inferior or discriminate because of race.
    I just think that guy was confused.

    For example I've asked a lot of black girls out and some of them have said they only date black guys, I don't find that racist, its just their preference.

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  • because he is a fuckwit

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  • It's racist because you're judging him on his appearance

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  • He couldn't handle the rejection!

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What Girls Said 19

  • Long Answer:
    When he called you racist, he was, in a way, right. When you only date white males or say "I only like white males." That's racist. People will say "It's a preference." when it's not. If you like red hair, commonly seen in white people, doesn't mean you won't talk to that cute brown/black haired man. Just because you like blue eyes doesn't mean you won't talk to that fine ass brown eyed fellow.
    However, when you completely exclude entire races then yes it is racist. Racism isn't as simple people think it is. Yes, making one race feel below yours is pure racist, but stereotypes, racist tropes (The smart Asian or the ghetto black female), hate speech, and more are also racist and it will never be cut and dry like some people want it to be.
    When you exclude entire race (s) from your dating circle, it's usually based on stereotypes ("I don't date black girls because they're loud." "I don't like Asian men because they're too girly" "I don't like white men because they smell like wet dog sometimes") Although you may not think you're judging on stereotype, in the back of your head, yes you are.
    It's scientifically proven that the second YOU, consciously, have thought of a decision, your brain, subconsciously, had the same decision long before you did. That's also why people sometimes say racist/sexist things without thinking, or in some cases, meaning them, but those thoughts were in the back of their minds, floating around, affecting their actions and people they talk to.

    Short Answer: Yes, to a degree, you were being racist.

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    • A thumbs down? Mind to explain why?

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    • Read:
      1) "One view holds that racism is best understood as 'prejudice plus power' because without the support of political or economic power, prejudice would not be able to manifest as a pervasive cultural, institutional or social phenomenon"
      2) "Racism is a system of societal organization in which one or more races is held to be superior to others, thereby enjoying greater privilege in society"

      There are many places to get definitions, try them some time.

    • high horse*

  • Because you turned him down purely on the basis he was black. For a lot of people that will come off as incredibly insulting and racist. It may be the way you feel and you might not be able to change that but just have a little diplomacy next time and do my being race into it.

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    • I didn't even use the word black once in my turn-down >_> I just said that I date white guys.

    • It's still saying that you are judging him by the colour of your skin. You don't have to change the way you speak to people but people don't have to stop spitting in your face when you say it. It's your call really but I know what I'd choose to do.

  • No. That's what you like. I like white guys, I'm married to a Brit and that's who I choose. Mind you, I'm Spanish but I've never felt an attraction to Spanish or latin men. They just make me cringe.. but that doesn't make me racist lol I just prefer white men more!

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  • You could have just said, "No, thanks".
    The "... I don't date white guys" was unnecessary.
    Why so much information to someone you don't even know?
    I'm not condoning what he did, but you don't owe strangers an explanation.

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  • It can imply that you think your race is superior physically (or mentally) or you don’t give other guys a chance because you are stereotyping and prejudging them.

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  • because he felt you felt strongly enough about bringing race into that you might be racist.
    people are super touchy when it comes to that. next time just say no you're not my type or just leave it at no.

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  • Probably because the reason you gave him for not dating him was because he was black.

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    • I didn't even use the word black once in my turn-down >_> I just said that I date white guys.

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    • I never said you didn't have a choice?
      "As a woman" I'm "basically" agreeing with his attack?
      How?
      You seemed confused as to why he called you racist.
      I just let you know why he probably thought so.

    • Switching it up because you get it now, lol.

  • WOW
    Would it be okay if a guy asked me out and I said sorry, I only date guys that are in shape. Or i only date guys above 6'3?

    You sound like an absolute tosser. You may decline him because he's not white but why did you feel the need to tell him it's because he's black?

    If is been there to hear you say that I would've done more than spit at you

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  • As long as you don't get mad when a white guy tells you that he prefers colored women then I don't see the problem. I hate it when people are hypocritical about their racial preference, you don't date this race yet complain about another not wanting to date you so suck it up (not talking about you) Racism is hating or fearing another race, this can come off as discrimination but at the same time it's not like you were born for every guy out there and there's a lot of white women who don't care about race if that's his preference.

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    • Oh and yes it is a dumb idea to tell him that instead of just saying that you don't feel the same. It is the same as telling someone that you find them ugly or unnatractive

  • It's a manipulation that he tried to take advantage of you.

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  • Wow its your preference though... Whatever move on it's not a big deal. You're open minded.

    But next time, just say "I'm not interested." That's good enough. Some people won't take it well.

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  • Nope...
    HOWEVER you would be racist if you only date whites because you believe in the "superior" race bull crap.

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  • that's not racist but I'd misunderstand you as well if you'd tell me that you only date white guys, why didn't you just tell him you're not interested

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  • are you kidding? wth?

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  • Its not there fault they're that race...

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  • Well no, that's not racist, you're entitled to have a preference. But, you could've phrased that better to avoid the issue. Instead of saying "I only date white guys", which would come off as insensitive, you could have said, "Sorry, I'm not interested. Thanks though." It would have came off a lot more considerately.

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  • Because the only reason you're excluding other people is the color of their skin and a list of prejudices.

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  • Nah, you are just shallow.

    You are racist if you think all people should date within their race.

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    • But "because that's who I am attracted to ". It's funny, because if you were a black woman attracted to white guys, people here would call you desperate and obsessed and racist. It's all about perspective

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    • So people aren't allowed to have preferences anymore? Are you going nuts?

      When did the "all people are equal" turned into "we have to kill any sense of individuality"? People have preferences and it is their good right to have, to express and to act upon them.
      It does not matter if it is skincolour, eyecolour, haircolour, facial features, bodily features, etc. Maybe when preaching tolerance you should start cleaning your own mess first.

      Or how would you feel if someone told you it's whatever "-ism" or "-phobia" when you don't date them on matters of their physical appearance?

      P. S. This is coming from someone who is in an interracial relationship.

    • What are you bitching now? I never sqid you can't have preferations. But it can still be shallow.

      "Maybe when preaching tolerance you should start cleaning your own mess first."
      I could say the same thing to you

  • its not racist.

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