25 & never had a girlfriend, sex or been kissed?

I'm 25 and I've never had a girlfriend, sex or been kissed. Growing up I was always the more mature guy, more mature than most of my friends anyway. I have different interests of most guys my age. I am a bit of a bookworm and a homebody and I don't frequent bars or clubs. I'm the kind of guy who is down-to-earth, kind, considerate, intelligent, responsible and genuinely sensitive, never gets in trouble and always does what is right.

There is one area of my life I have always failed in, girls. I am picky. I don't want to date or sleep with a girl I have no attraction to whatsoever. What would be the point? I’m a pretty stubborn. Not to mention the only thing most of the girls I know care about was getting into a guy’s pants. They don't want a boyfriend, just a fuckbuddy. I'm not interested in one-night stands or cheap hook-ups. I value committed, authentic romantic relationships.

I have met very few genuine women. There were many girls I felt attracted to but they almost always had boyfriends already or were uninterested in relationships themselves.

I have however been out on a couple of dates, they all ended in disaster however. The first girl I dated was set up by mutual friends and she turned up drunk to our date. So drunk, she could hardly walk. The second girl I dated the longest, we went on three dates before I found out she had a kid, which was a dealbreaker for me. With the third girl the date went great. Conversation came easy. So easy in fact, she felt like she was talking to a long time friend, which in her mind meant there was no spark between us and she just wanted to be friends. Even when a girl really likes me she doesn't want a relationship with me.

Last, but certainly not least, is my shyness. I don’t know how to open up to women. I didn’t know how to talk or relate to them. It's something that has bothered me my whole life.

Do you think I'm a loser? Any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • whatee you do, don't use a hooker, you will regret it later after your sexual fantasys has been fufilled

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What Girls Said 3

  • I don't think you're a loser, but I think you blow women off too easily and generalize unfairly. There are plenty of women who want the same thing as you - you're just not attracted to them.

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    • He is genealizing a little unfairly, there's a lot of guys and girls like him but he thinks he's special.

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    • By that I mean the type of girls other guys have been with and have learned to stay away from: Drunks, druggies, materialistic high maintenance girls and town bike's. Like I said, if you met the girls I had to pick from you would understand. I'm done conversing with you. Good day :-)

    • Rationalize it however you want, you're still the one who is the problem.

  • You sound like the male version of me. I suffer from social anxiety so thats my problem. You aren't a loser you sound like a great guy to me.

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  • you're not a loser.

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What Guys Said 4

  • You just need more practice. go on more dates, but without expectation. You are just pracitising. Dating is a skill, like... riding a bike. The first time I went on a date I was nervous as fuck, spent 4-5 days planning the thing, still getting it wrong, didn't know how to talk to the girl, how to make her feel good etc. Fast forward couple years, I've now been on 100 or more dates. Its very easy now, I have it down pat, I know what to expect and I know exactly what I'm doing.

    Thats all there is to it, you just need to put yourself out there more and get more practice under your belt!

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  • I'm 25 and never had any of the things you mentioned either. That by itself doesn't make you a loser but being so unsure of yourself is unattractive. You said you focused on being mature well that should be your asset. It's really not a big deal in the long run and you're still young with good chances with women. Just stop being so shy and be more confident around other people comfortable in your own skin.

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    • @asker I'm taking the conversation over here if you don't mind. I'm sorry for sounding critical i just got a little irked by the tone of some of your question but anyway. You shouldn't lower your standards just try and afford them is what I'm thinking.

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    • @6161616162222 good job you made me laugh

    • @asker I'm sure not all of them are taken widen your lens... Hope that makes sense.

  • As a guy I'm often bitter and resentful over the cards I was dealt with

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  • I'd try and get some more dates , sure those 3 didn't go anywhere but that's sort of reality of dating so have to keep seeing whats out there. I think you need to meet more girls and put yourself out there more. and by mid 20's its not uncommon to have not had a serious relationship yet , some people don't get into dating till there a bit older and done with school years

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