Help. Please. I don't get it. Why is it that women don't want me?

I'm told I'm good looking. I don't get it but women always stare, too the point I'm uncomfortable sometimes. I turn heads. I work on my body. I'm intelligent. The problem is that when I try to talk to women they either act standoffish and distant or so shy the conversation is difficult. Women often show intrest ( I'm good at reading body language) but it usually turns out they have a boyfriend. In fact these are the only women who show intrest. Actual single women usually just screw me around and get scared of giving me their number. I'm not a player but suspect I am judged as one. Problem is I'm not one. I'm a really nice guy who hasen't had a date in 5 years. I'm not looking for sex, I would be happy with just some friends. What is wrong with me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • wow Im sorry to hear you are having this problem, you seem like a really nice guy! If you are really good looking then women can be intidated by you, unfortunately. Just ask any guy how a gorgeous girl can intimdate them.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I'm going to go with you are probably initimidating to most women. Girls who boyfriends don't really have to worry about what you think them. Whereas single girls do. Do you come off as standoffish or a bit intense?

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    • Defanatlly not standoffish, nor too intense. I'm told I'm friendly and engaging.

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    • That I figured. But what can I do about that?

    • Just be as friendly as you can be, funny make jokes, like are you naturally a clumsy person or anything like that? Something that people can identify with so they realise that you are normal too but just better looking than most haha

  • Maybe you don't smile often enough.

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    • I smile a lot. I don't get it. I don't act clingy, I'm not an ass. I try to be something girls want but fail miserably. They stare, but are somehow (I perceive) are scared or nervous.

    • Then it seems like intimidation. You need to make the girls feel comfortable around you. Or you're subconsciously targeting the ones who seem more insecure. Who knows. Keep trying.

  • Try to talk to the one who looks at you.

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  • Girls are probably just scared that you would reject them. If you find a girl that you stare at when she walks into the room, approach her. Get her to tryst you. Make her realize you're a good guy! Then ask her out.

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    • Dosen't seem to work.

What Guys Said 3

  • I say this to everyone on here because it’s the truth and something I had to Iearn the hard way. The best thing you can do is to stop trying. Focus on your goals, your plans, your hobbies and interests outside of having a partner and stay focused on your life. just stop worrying about it and be happy. The right person will come along eventually if it’s meant to be. Check out my takes where I go into more detail about it all. You just need to stop worrying about it.

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    • I had stopped trying for years. Aparentlly doing nothing is as successful as doing my best.

    • Your missing the point and that is that you need to be happy and content in your life regardless of having a partner or not. It should be the mentality of if I meet someone I do, if I don't then oh well. Trust me, I have been where you have been and am telling you from experience that once you truly stop looking for a partner , stressing yourself out over it and focus on your life, develop some confidence and goals that's when things will start to change, at that point you won't need to look for them, they will come to you.

  • do u say... "friends only"?

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  • I have exactly the same problem. I've been told I'm cute once a week yet I'm a virgin.
    Can I ask you a question? Who compliments you the most?

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    • Good question. I find that women rarly complement me. It happens, but rarely. I do get complements from women who are not in the dating range (older women). If your underling suggestion is how I have come to consider myself 'ok' looking it is because I have seen both sides. I used to have a goatee and long hair. Women avoided me compleatly. I looked stern and hard. I shaved and got a new haircut and started dressing better and I noticed the difference right away. When I walk into a room women's heads turn, I have overheard women discussing me, women display all the 'tells' when I am around or talk to them, women who are not in the dating scene (either married or not interested in dating) have told me I'm good looking (I don't get it but ok). Strangely I always figured if women think your good looking the world is your oyster but have found myself very isolated and frankly, lonely.

    • Tell me about it. Yeah, I've found that older women compliment me a lot, and then lots of unavailable women. Girls are also very shy around me at first. It's annoying. They give you the deer in headlights and get all quiet.
      But I joined this website to get insight on anything I might be doing to drive girls away.

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