Guys, boyfriend won't tell me what happened at strip club?

Boyfriend of three years recently went to strip club for bachelor party. He goes yearly to strip clubs on his boys trip. He knows it bothers me but I trust him to go. He lied about throwing loonies at the girls and how long they were at the club last time they went. This time he told me about the club but nothing that happened. He says I don't need to know everything because it makes me insecure and upset. I was trying to start an open communication convo about it to ease my mind but he doesn't like talking to me about it. His friend who was with him showed me their convo the night they went. His friend text him "those two strippers want us to come back to the club" to which my boyfriend responded "which ones? Lol" a few minutes later my boyfriend then sent "how do you know they want me?" I don't know why his friend showed me this and I don't want to ask my boyfriend because I told him I trust him and that means trusting his word. His friend seemed to think it was funny which is maybe why he showed me but I don't know he context of the convo. Should I be worried or do I just pick my battles and let this one go?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Their is a rule about bachelore parties that you are not suppose to talk about them. That said a strip club is not a place you go to cheat. Its actually kind of sad, you go in and say to a stripper "hey I need a self esteem boost, if I pay you ten dollars will you pretend to like me and find me attractive?" "yes, but only for five minutes." and thats about it. As for the text, do you really think his friend would show those to you if he thought for even a moment that they were serious in any way or would incriminate his friend? Whats your response when a guy flirts with you? Those text were the equivalent to that, some body flirted with him he declined but in his mind he whent "F-Yeah, still got it!" and thats it, its amusing because it was a self esteem boost not because he had any inclination of cheating at any point in time. As a man I can safely say that I will automaticly check women out, usually my think is, "Wow she's hot. I should probably do laundry tonight." Its really nothing to be worried about.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Just pick your battles. Boys will be boys. It is extremely unlikely that anything happened, because they were strippers, not hookers (probably) and were interested in their wallets, not their cocks.
    Their boyfriends (aka pimps) would have been waiting at home for the girls to return with their takings for the night.
    If you want to enjoy some darkly amusing observation of human sexuality, go to a strip club and sit at a table that is well away from the stage. From there watch the antics of the sad collection of individuals who are throwing money at the strippers. To call them pathetic is not descriptive enough.

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  • I've only been to a club once and in my experience they just flirt with you to get your money. They will get naked and dance but if you even try to touch them security will kick you out. The girls won't do anything sexual to him or with him only try to turn him on.

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  • Just let it go. There's no actual sex at strip clubs (or if there is, it is very expensive). If he's going to cheat on you he doesn't need to go to a strip club to do it.

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  • Throwing loonies?

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  • you need to end it. my grandfather was the same way... well, aside from being an abusive drunk.

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