Relatively few people experienced the chemistry spark?

I don't know if that's true but I read that a lot of people never really experienced the spark in relationships, they even settle in marriage just because they wanted kids and not wait any further. Could be one of the contributing factors in the high divorce rate. Plus I read that relatively few people are lucky to be able to feel the spark, is this true?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well I don't know what the studies say... personally, I've experienced the spark but it's not worked out; eventually settled for someone with less spark as he had a lot of other qualities and I thought he'd make a good husband but he became very demanding, nit-picky, unaffectionate, and cut down my self-esteem after we got married so I'm divorcing him now... Many women I have spoken to that have divorced their husbands its because he became a tyrant with an attitude like "I own you now so you have to live up to my expectations".

    • Sorry to hear what you went through, that must be hard! I worry about a close female friend of mine, her boyfriend asked her to move in with him and wanted an engagement after just a month of dating! She was not ready to get serious and almost broke up with him. Still claims she does not want to get married.

    • Thanks - it has been hard, especially since we moved interstate away from my family and friends. But I finally made some new friends just when I needed some to help me. I'm over it. For your friend, if she is not ready she definitely should not do it. I know of a couple that they had a 3 kids and things weren't working so they decided to get married as they thought that might fix things but it didn't, so they got a house hoping that would fix it but it didn't. Now they are getting a divorce and their kids (teenagers) told them they were glad they were divorcing as they wanted their parents to be happy. You know, one thing I have learned - maybe it is clear to others but I only just realised it - everyone says make sure you are compatible. So you look for similar interests... but what really matters is: you have to have similar spending habits, similar views on running a household, similar views on parenting, and similar views on love. Everything else doesn't matter so much...


Have an opinion?


Send It!

What Girls Said 1

  • I can only speak for myself but @gray_sailor and I have even more spark and chemistry now than we ever have after being together 10 years, married for 9. We are each other's second and last marriages. Neither of us picked well for ourselves in our first marriages. We have a natural and mutual physical and emotional chemistry. It just keeps getting better and better! Compatibility and communication with each other are major keys to our love story!


What Guys Said 2

  • I believe that people can't get their desired partner then have to settle, and yes that is what's breaking marriages.

  • Perhaps, religion is also a factor that can imply marriage before sex.

    • It's said that kissing is more powerful than sex itself, and I've known Christians who did the kissing thing to ensure they are chemically compatible before getting serious.