How do I start things up again? I really do want to be with him?

I assumed he just wanted to hook up with me, so I stopped sleeping with him two months ago. But he still always tries and iniatates kissing me anyways, when were drinking usually but even just when were alone hanging out. I now have turned him down all night and wouldn't let him kiss me either when we were out. He actually got really mad about that and got really rude with me.. so I stopped talking to him. But I saw him the day after just briefly and was really short with him. He hasn't tried to talk to me since, its been almost a week now.

We've been hooking up for the last 4 months and in the begining we did go out on a few dates (He had asked me out and was very persitent and this was after we already slept together) when I was home for the holidays for two weeks, but I was away at school after so our relationship was just really casual and we'd basically just hook up when we saw eachother and talked a few times a week.

I'm now back in town and Im living with his sister so I see him all the time, since he lives ten minutes away. I have started to get feelings for him and I do like him. He told me he thinks Im a cool girl to hangout with and that we really hit it off. And he said he missed having me in town when I was gone. Anyways I'm just confused now. If he only wanted to hook up then why is he still trying to kiss me if he knows I won't sleep with him. When we hang out with a group of friends he'll always get really quiet with me, awkward and won't really look me in the eyes.. but he'll do things like sit right next to me. And a couple weeks ago he offered to drive me home so we could be alone and kissed me.

I'm just confused with his actions. I'm assuming he just wants to hook up with me, but then does these other things.. What does he want from me.. Im wondering if he's just as confused as I am? I do like him, but am over this drunk hooking up. He hasn't asked to hangout.. is a bit more quiet and conservative. But still in the begining he asked me out so even if he is shy he still did, so i just dont know where to go from here

I really want to kiss him and sleep with him, its so good, but I want to not just be hooking up and be serious and hangout! Please help:( How to start things up again.. the right way


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You changed the rules of Friends with Benefits by cutting off the benefits and wanting more than friends. He can't give you what you really want, so he is moving on. He would probably be interested in resurrecting the benefits part, but it sounds like his emotions are not involved.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Too long for me to read

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  • Guess he likes u... but wot counts mostly is wot he does when u r alone wid him

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  • He seems like a normal guy that was just trying to date and have a relationship, but you just assumed for some reason that he was a scumbag that just wanted sex, so you stopped even allowing him to kiss you, so he probably thinks you're not interested anymore

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    • but how was he just trying to date me? he didn't even really ask me out...

    • You made the timeline hard to follow but I thought this is what happened:

      you guys had sex
      he then tried to date you
      then you moved further away limiting your time together
      you stop having sex with him because you, assumed that's all he wanted
      he still tries to hang out with you anyway
      you stop kissing him
      now he's upset that you don't seem interested and walks away

    • He wasn't trying to hang out with me, he would just be drunk trying to kiss me or hook up. Its been a month since he's asked to hang out just us two. I really do like him and obviously would like more, but I am just over getting drunk and hooking up so to avoid me getting hurt, I just decided to stop everything. I want to actually date him and not just hook up. So I dont know where to go from here:(

  • wait a min... do u know if he flirts wid other gals meanwhile?

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    • no, he's doesn't he's really shy

What Girls Said 5

  • im pretty sure you're a booty call sorry

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  • He used you and he was done with you. Don't let him do that anymore in the future

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  • he's a jerk.

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  • He is only interested in hooking up with you.

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  • He's still trying to get in your pants.

    "He told me he thinks Im a cool girl to hangout with and that we really hit it off. And he said he missed having me in town when I was gone."

    He is sweet talking you. What he actually means is that he misses you as his booty call.

    I don't understand why you still hangout with him if you don't want to hook up anymore.

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