Guys, you always want us to be direct, right?

Guys always tell me that in situations where I get hit on or harassed by a guy, I have to be direct. If a guy is crushing on me and I don't like him, I have to be direct. But I noticed whenever I am direct, no matter how polite, I still get called a bitch. I am super straight forward and when a guy asks me "why" I won't fuck, talk to or date them, I am honest because I've also been told that guys want honesty.

Seriously, I can't find a balance: when I am straight forward and direct, you guys get butt hurt. If I'm passive and polite, you harass the shit out of me then blame it on me for not being direct enough.

K so not all guys are like this, I'm just fuming. But help, what do I do?


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12

Most Helpful Guy

  • Be direct, you are doing everyone a favor. The guys who freak out on you are doing it because their feeling are hurt so they want to hurt your feelings back. People tend to try to pull others into whatever emotional state they are in. Your doing them a favor though, every time their feelings get hurts it can help them build a thicker skin.

    In my opinion confidence in dating is built more on failure than it is on success. After a while you learn it does not matter what some random person thinks of you and that there are billons of other girls to talk to.

    I hate when a girl is wish washy. If you are not interested tell me. The time I wasted on you could have been spent talking to a girl who is.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Being direct is good especially in a relationship. When rejecting if you want to lessen the backlash, try and be direct but polite has well.

    Its hard to explain, can you give me an example of how you rejected a guy recently?

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    • I had a friend of mine ask me out who is just not what I'm into. He's super shy and I am just honest, I don't like super shy people. He asked me out and I just said "No thank you." He asked me why and told me to be honest and I said: "Well if you genuinely want me to be honest, I'm just not attracted to you." He got super hurt by it.

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    • Well I dont think he means it. Just an overreaction. But beleive me guys can ususally tell when you ate lying anyway, they just dont react quite as strongly.

      Also, beong direct and honest will help you immensely in your future relationship :)

    • I like to think so.

  • It's not about avoiding negative backlash. It's about effectiveness

    And being direct is effective, and preferred.

    Don't worry about being called names, you'll adjust to it, just like guys are used to it.

    Girls often worry too much about a guys feelings and what their reaction might be. But who gives a fuck?

    Be direct, and let the guy say or do as he wishes in the midst of rejection. The point is, you get the message across.

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  • It's because guys can't handle the truth and have to lash out like a child if they don't get what they want. A man will take it in stride and respect the fact you were honest. Stay the way you are its not your problem its the guys hitting on you. They need to man up

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  • Be direct but not with a attitude. For instance, you don't need to be rude, just mention that you have a boyfriend or just say sorry, if you were my type maybe, but your not, this way your not causing them to feel as if they have been attacked and need to defend themselves. Being direct with an attitude will cause most guys to think "god what a bitch" and then go on the offensive, x

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  • Continue to be direct. The guys that are calling you a bitch are just in their feelings because you turned them down so they stooped to petty name calling to conserve at least a little bit of their already dwindling ego.

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  • Yes, guys want girls to be direct and don't like to get stalled... it avoids either of the person to get hurt in the long run and eliminates any type of emotional drama... I have been rejected few times (ok, many times) but i respect those girls who say it outright... saves time, energy & heartache!!! So, keep on doing that... BUTT HURT!!! that's a good one.. hahhaha...

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  • You can't have your cake and eat it too. Both ways have pros and cons.

    The best way is still to be direct in my opinion.

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  • Continue being direct, better than some guy guessing.

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  • Some guys just get jealous and say that because their feelings are hurt. But please stay honest because it really is preferred those guys were just being pissy

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  • There is a difference between being direct and being rude, maybe you are getting the two confused?

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    • I actively try to be polite, but when a guy asks "why, and be honest" then I'm honest. I just say "I'm not attracted to you" or "I just don't like you that way, you're not my type."

    • I don't know, I never get butt hurt for getting shot down.

  • you should still be direct, Honesty is the best policy, but nobody likes it

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