This guy that I was dating and talking to since 5 months tells me to lose weight in order for him to commit to me. Should I be with him or drop him?

so I met this guy online on a dating website in February this year. We met for the first time in May. He's from another state so he lives 5 hours away. So the first time we met we clicked instantly. We got compliments from strangers that we make a pretty couple and all. Then 2 days ago it was my bday so he drove to see me and he wanted to take me out for my bday and make me feel special. Honestly it was the best time I ever had and he really made it special we drove around went to eat at a very fancy place and all. actually he's the first guy i am dating. So since I just turned 25 I told him this is so special I never really celebrated my bday with any guy before and we had a moment and he wanted to kiss me and we did and out of no where I guess I was running very high on emotions I said you better be the one. Then he kinda brushes my hair and acts distant for bit then we both drove to his hotel and we went to his room. I was a bit not comfortable going to his room because I have never done anything with any guy before. So then he goes trust me I won't do anything then we sat in his room and we were talking on the bed and we got a bit comfortable and we started to fool around. Then We made out and I asked him where is this going he stops and acts a bit distant again and I asked him what happened he goes he cannot commit to me until December I was like what why? He goes because I want you to lose weight and show me. this is when it got rough and scary I was like wtf and I got very upset he goes look u need to lose a bit of weight I want us both to look good together. I was like then why did u bullshit me in the beginning saying he likes me the way I am and doesn't want me to change and we have been talking for almost 5 months now. He goes yeah well you need to lose weight I got really upset and I wanted to cry he didn't say a single word I walk out of his room and he walks me to my car and then on my way home I texted him saying thanks for the dinner. He said he's so

  • Drop him
    100% (15)100% (5)100% (20)Vote
  • Lose weight and make him to commit to you
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Updates:
He tells me that I have the best personality but all I have to do is lose weight that's it
I am 168 lbs and 5'4 I know I am overweight but I workout 5-6 times a week I lift weights. Yes I am a bit chubby i have curves but I am not grossly fat or anything.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If your weight is in a healthy range, drop the guy.
    If your weight is not in a healthy range, for your own health, you might want to consider achieving the healthy range and still drop the guy.

    I know some guys tell their partners to lose weight all the time. Unless for health reasons, it is none of their business.

    At the same time, there are guys out there like that - do not let them hurt you like that.

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    • Well it's not in the healthy range I need to drop like 30-40 lbs to be in the healthy fit range. I did ask him if he's not attracted to me because of my weight he goes no I am attracted to you but it's nice if you lose some weight.. Apparently he once told me that his ex had a nice body so I don't know if he's comparing and feel like he's settling for less? Also he's fit he loves to workout all the time.. So you say still drop him? I mean he's really sweet and nice with other things only this has been a issue since the last I saw him...

    • At the end of the day, it's up to you. Perhaps he wanted you to join him for the workouts in a 'good shape' as well? I am not to sure how and why he said what he said, but the way you described it was a little too alarming for my like. Also, I think as long as you are happy and as long as you are healthy, no one has the right to tell you to lose weight...

      Having said all that, if you are willing to lose weight and keep him, I think that is commendable. Relationship is something that needs constant effort from both parties involved and I am glad that you are willing to make that effort.

      Keep happy and keep healthy!

What Guys Said 1

  • Find someone better. This one is not worth it.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He presented you with an ultimatum. I wouldn't approve it if I were you. If you want to lose weight do it for your own good, not because some asshole asked you to. Who does he think he is anyway?

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