I have got bullied in school and most of my life , now im grown up I date bullies? Am I normal?

My ex boyfriend was a bully, he always told me stories how he bullied people in school and laughed about it, was horrible to his family and animals etc but i felt safe with him untill he started bullying me and showing hos true colours

The guy im dating now is a 'bully aswell' as in starts fights in clubs, is really violent and has a repuatation where everyone is scared of him

I always feels like im safe with these kinds of guys but it never ends well, am i messed up? Why am i dating bullies when i got bullied as a kid?

Updates:
I feel like now im with a more violent guy than the last one i am protected from my ex who bullied me and he won't try to hurt me anymore, dont know if that makes sense

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Most Helpful Guy

  • This is what i can tell you. You seem to be going for the "bad boys" i think. I say get away from the guy you are with now. It's aphyscolocal thing you know. But i mean for you, i think you should go with a guy who is nice to others and helps other instead or standing and laughting, etc.. Just my opinion but i say get away form this guy cause i might be a stranger but i don't want him to get mad and abuse you. Again the guy you are with is not safe in my opinion. You can message me if you want to further talk.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Self-masochism. Actually a lot of people who used to get bullied tend to be drawn to friends/relationships where they get bullied again.

    It is a clear sign that you never overcome the issue of why you got bullied in the first place. You didn't build up your self-esteem, you didn't confront your inner demons and by now you are probably at the point where you feel like you deserve to be with these people and treated like this.

    It's a form of self-destrucitve behaviour and I strongly suggest you to confront yourself about these topics. You might even want to contact a counsellor orpsychologist who are specialised on it. Rather do it now than when it is too late and there is no way back anymore.

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  • Google "Stockholm Syndrome."

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  • Nah. You have a strange version of Stockholm syndrome going on.

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  • Well, you just broke up, so, at least you're kind of moving in the right direction

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What Girls Said 2

  • Maybe you think if you date bullies (so staying on bullies' good side) you won't get bullied because he will protect you? Or no one will try to bully you as they would scared of your bf?

    I think it is not a good idea to stay with someone violent. Not safe.

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  • This is probably a psychological thing honestly. If I were you, I would try to stay away from guys who exhibit that kind of behavior, though. A lot of them end of being men who abuse their significant others. Yours may not be, but I know a lot who are.

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