Can someone please give me some advice?

okay so basically my parents aren't very affectionate and have very little to do with me. because of this I get attached to anyone who will so me a little bit of affection. my last serious boyfriend committed suicide and I'm not very close with any of my friends. I started talking to this guy a couple months ago and ended up really liking him. he's older but he said he wants to wait until I'm ready to have sex. then one day he stopped talking to me because he said he is too busy. a couple days ago me messaged me and we've been talking. now he is constantly talking about sex and saying he doesn't want a relationship he just wants friends with benefits. he only talks to me if I send him sexy photos or if I'm arranging a date to spend the night. I don't think I want just sex but he was so nice a couple months ago that I've gotten attached and I don't know if I want to lose him... I don't know if I can lose him. I don't know if I will just be able to end things and not go back to him. PLEASE help! should I just be his friend with benefits? or should I move on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • First of all my dear, you have my condolences. (I just lost my Best friend in a suicide car crash maybe a week ago, anyway). I get where your coming from an I'd drop this guy like a sack of hot potatoes. Want to know why? Because you aren't anyone booty call! Got that? Your and individual with feelings too. Now what this guy is doing is being a dick, and a tiny one at that. One he's using you for sexy photos, which he probably shows his guy friends (which I don't know is true). Second he's basically stating, if you don't put out he's not going to be there! Do you really want something like him in your life? A moocher, who only wants sex. No you are worth much more than that. And things may not be looking up with your parents honey, put there are so much other folks in this world. You can find a support group who cares, Lord knows I have one. Remember this, You are Nobody's play thing. If that's how he gets off his rock I'd block his ass off of everything he has access to contact me to. He obviously wasn't the guy you thought he was, he just said that he'll wait those few months to, butter you up and when he saw you weren't putting out, he got desperate. I'm pretty sure your a independent girl inside, You don't need scum like him!

    Sincerely, Jude.

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What Guys Said 6

  • MOVE ON BIG TIME.

    No matter how much it's gonna hurt to leave this guy because you're in need of affection, if you stay with him you will get hurt MUCH MORE. 100% sure.

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  • No don't let him use you. Find an actual friend not some piece of trash who will use you for sex and then most likely abandon you. Maybe talk to a guidance counselor or something. I hope your situation resolved itself it sounds like you've had a rough go ):

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  • Don't fall for a douche bag like that. You gotta respect urself basically. Better things will come soon just stay strong and work on things that will set u up in the future.

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  • I'm sorry that your ex committed suicide. sounds like you need to move on an find someone who likes you for you. That just sounds horrible that he wants to use you like that.

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  • Move on...

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  • Paragraphs were invented for a reason...

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What Girls Said 7

  • He's using you and doesn't appreciate you. Lose his number and find someone else.

    I would also tell my parents that you don't feel they're very affectionate. Believe me, they may listen. My mom did when I told her that she said some things that hurt me.

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  • If he's pressuring you into doing things you don't want to be doing or aren't ready for, he's not good for you. It sounds like you want a relationship (which is something you know that he doesn't want), so why would you stick around to get your feelings hurt?

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  • Oh god i'm so sorry about your last boyfriend. :(

    Avoid that guy like the plague because he doesn't care about you and only wants to fuck you and then leave. If I saw that guy I would beat his ass to kingdom cum (hahaha) since he's taking 100% advantage of you.

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    • thank you so much :)

    • Np. It's not easy having parents were your relationship isn't the best with them. But In time it does get better if you try to work on it. :)

      <----black sheep of the family.

  • When your parents ignore you, it's hard not to feel totally empty inside. I understand this loneliness all too well. You need to pursue some interests which aren't contingent upon anyone's approval so you can build yourself up strong to combat this emotional struggle and it IS one. You need to get rid of that creep. You're on life support and he's pulling the plug.

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    • thank you :)

    • Sometimes these creeps see lonely people and prey on their vulnerabilities. We all crave attention. It's a human need. There is so much more out there besides these losers and people who are too busy for us♡

  • You shouldn't feel pressured by him to be friends with benefits. You should tell him how you feel about him and be as sincere as possible. if that doesn't change the way he feels then he doesn't want anything but sex. Be careful.

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  • He's USING You

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  • Move on. (Filler)

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