Boyfriend wanted to go out, I turned him down?

My boyfriend called and asked me to come out and get lunch with him. I'm home working on an assesment and really dont feel like it, I also just had lunch. I'm questioning the relationship anyway, as we've grown apart and I'm still working on my feelings as to if i want to continue it.

I told him I dont want a 'date' where I come and watch him eat. He doesn't talk when he eats so its not much fun... I offered for another a day, but he said no and got grumpy with me. I feel bad, but at the same time I don't want to do something I feel like, with some one I have mixed feelings on.



Most Helpful Guy

  • You did exactly what you should have done. You were honest with him, and had you gone reluctantly, you could have become passive aggressive about something totally unrelated, like traffic or just been pissed off the rest of the day, also putting you further behind on your assessment.

    It's okay to say "no" and he really shouldn't get annoyed if he asked and you politely refused. Otherwise why ask if you expect your partner to drop what he/she is doing and hang out when the timing isn't optimal.

    In addition, it sounds like you're not head over heels for him, so there's no reason to make him believe you're still going strong and wanting to be attached to him by a tether.

    • Thank you, you're advice makes me feel better about saying no. He expects that I'll drop things to hang with him. Once I probably would have, but these days I would rather not.

    • Good for you, and a relationship should always be mutual and respectful, and I'd be a bit annoyed, too, if my partner expected me to always drop what I was doing to basically meet her where I would be doing nothing.

      I'm glad you're questioning where you are in your relationship, because it sounds like you can do better.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • You should just want to be with him, even if it means not talking and just sitting in silence. If you can't enjoy that then maybe you two just aren't meant to be together anymore.

    Not insulting you, by the way.

  • I think both of you were justified on how you reacted... he has a very good reason to be grumpy and you to say no... don't make a big deal about it, it's quite natural... What's more important is that you straight out your feelings towards him coz otherwise one of you will get hurt in the long run... There is a very good chance your boyfriend would have asked sm1, perhaps here, " My girlfriend doesn't love me as much as i do, what should i do about our relationship?"... so sort out your feelings or else these incidents will keep on happening...

  • Dump him. He doesn't seem worth your time to you so why keep him.

    • I guess its because I'm still trying to figure out if I want the relationship or not... Im also not sure how to end it.

What Girls Said 1

  • You should just sit him down and ask him about how he feels about your relationship. Then tell him how you feel and why. Then from there you two figure out if you want to salvage your relationship or not. I wish you the best of luck!