Why am I having trouble getting dates with women?

I used to be an extremely shy and reserved guy, but over the last several years I've worked to change that. I no longer have trouble make eye contact and am no longer afraid to smile and wave at women to let them know I'm interested. I'm also starting to get pretty good at flirting, teasing, and being playful.

Often women seem to be responsive to the flirting. They'll maintain eye contact, return waves and smiles, teasing banter with me. If it's a woman I've seen before she'll be the one to approach me or wave first.

However, when I ask them out, they often say they're busy or some other excuse. I do get dates with some women, but I was curious if it normal to have most (Maybe like 75-80%) women to not want to go out with you even when they seem to be flirting back with you.

There are times where I run into women who are extremely obvious with their attraction and it's obvious they really want to go out with me, but most girls I find myself attracted to are kinda in the middle. They're flirty and playful, but not to the point that I know for sure they'll say yes.

Is this normal or is there something I'm not doing right that is turning them off? Any ideas?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "There are times where I run into women who are extremely obvious with their attraction and it's obvious they really want to go out with me, but most girls I find myself attracted to are kinda in the middle. They're flirty and playful, but not to the point that I know for sure they'll say yes."

    This is it. Sometimes you have to accept someone is out of your league.

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    • Definitely not out of my league. I'm good looking, muscular, visible abs, (though I don't take off my shirt when other guys do. Maybe I should? lol). I have no debt, I know how to dress fashionably and get compliments about it often, I make 80k a year.

      Obviously they're not interested in going out since they didn't say yes, but they're definitely not out of my league.

What Girls Said 3

  • I'm guess they don't find you interesting to to talk to.

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    • Maybe. I can hold a conversation well, but sometimes I do ask out women having never had a conversation with them, only flirting. However in those cases I have friends in common with her. That, and her flirting, have me the impression she feels comfortable and has fun around me, and the date would give us a chance to get to know each other.

  • You shouldn't be that obvious also. If you are too obvious they'll think you are a player.

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    • So you're saying I'm being too confident and aggressive? I've always been told that being too shy to make eye contact and smile is a huge turn off for women.

    • Eye contact and smiling is really important. Women love it. But when you finally talk to them don't be really obvious. Be just nice and sweet but don't be too aggressive.

  • Maybe they think you're a player or something.

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What Guys Said 3

  • wot bout yer looks bro? do u consider yerself attractive?

    appart from wot other people say!

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  • TBH a 20~25% acceptance ratio is pretty good

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  • Well, maybe you should stop breathing so hard.

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