Why isn't he asking me out?

So there's a guy I'm kind of friends with. We've started talking a few months ago since we were in the same classes. Recently, we went to a dance together as friends (I asked him), but I think it sort of turned into a pseudo-date. The thing is, since then, he's been acting kind of differently. He's switching between being polite to the point of awkwardness and almost giving me the silent treatment. Two of my friends asked him about it, and apparently he's interested in going out with me. However, he hasn't said anything to me about it. Last week, I made an effort to get him alone, so he had the opportunity to ask me out, if he wanted to. He didn't. He's talking to me almost normally now though. I'm kind of confused about three things: 1. I don't think he liked me before the dance, so why does he now? 2. If he likes me, why is he not asking me out? Is there someone he wants to date more, and I'm just a second choice? 3. Or else, is he just not interested anymore? By the way, he's also pretty shy so...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • it's really hard for guys to overcome the barrier of wanting to date someone vs. wanting to maintain a friendship-- I have had a similar situation, taking a girl to a dance, etc., and I've felt the same way you do in reverse. he's definitely still interested, but he doesn't want to ask you out because he's shy. see if you can get his friends on your side, that ought to help

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What Guys Said 3

  • He may have only seen you as a friend, then the dance happened and now he sees you may have feelings for him and this is scaring him away. Now he may also have feelings for you, or could develop them, but he may be shy or still processing these new emotions and feelings. It can be hard for some to switch gears between friends into that romantic area. You may need to be patient with him and you may have to take the lead with him. You could try something like, "Hey, you know what? I had a really nice time with you at the dance. I would like to get to know you better. Maybe we can go out just the two of us some time?"

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  • He probably is extremely afraid of rejection! You Did everything u could as a female to "set him up" for him to make his move.

    How about YOU ask HIM out? ;-)

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  • He doesn't want to.

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What Girls Said 1

  • He is probably afraid of rejection.

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